Feel free to add your own in the comments.
- I try to stop people from acting stupid and sometimes just make them feel stupid. (corporate trainer)
- I take away stuff nobody wants in a truck and hoard it in a big pile. (waste management)
- I watch tiny humans exit big humans and keep them around a while until they don't die. (neonatal nurse)
- I bust through your door and soak all your stuff in a lot of water. You usually thank me afterward. (firefighter)
- I tell computers to do things. Sometimes they listen. (programmer)
- I hide and take pictures of you speeding. Then I either blackmail you with them or shame you in front of a judgy person until you pay. (photo radar)
- I blow through a curvy tube to make the air wiggle. When people hear it, sometimes they wiggle too. (saxophone player)
- I constantly try to rearrange the 26 letters of the alphabet in new and exciting ways. (writer)
- I shoot people. (portrait photographer)
- I pick random balls out of a bigger ball and place them in a row. It makes a few people happy, but most people end up sad. (lottery number picker)
- I answer the phone for people who have more important things to do. (receptionist)
- I explain to people in graphic detail the horrible things I'm going to do to them and they let me do it anyway. While they sleep. (surgeon)
- I sit around waiting for some of the money I gave away to be given back. (pensioner)
- I let strangers into peoples' homes and try to convince them to move in. (real estate agent)
- I pretend to know what someone is destined to do for a living based on incomplete and probably faulty information. (guidance counsellor)
- I smell a lot. And I will go out of my way to make you smell a lot too. I'll just spray smelly stuff on you and make you pay for it. (perfume counter sales)
- I try to subvert Darwin's Law by preventing stupid people from killing themselves. (safety staff)
- I fire things into the air and hope they stay up there for a long time. (rocket engineer)
- I give people a lift, but only if they're going where I'm going. (transit driver)
- I stalk other people for you. (private investigator)
- I deal with people who might need a time out. (police)
- I take unassuming white powder and lace it with other ingredients to transform it into something you might become addicted to. (baker)
- I make major decisions about many things that I have no qualifications for. I depend on the opinions of others. (politician)
- I'm a hoarder enabler. Everything I build lets you collect more stuff. (cabinet maker)
- I clear paths for big, heavy boxes with people or little boxes in them. I try to help them not get stuck or crash into each other. (snow plow operator)
- I take a sip of stuff and spit it out, then say whether it's good or not. (taste tester)
- I always push people around and talk behind their back. (aide to people in wheelchairs)
- I take other peoples' family members for a walk so that I can pick up their poop. (dog walker)
- I make money from your money and maybe let you keep some of it. (investment banker)
- I test criminals to see if they're smart. (detective)
- I try to convince you that our cars are precious and your car is worthless. (car salesperson)
- I prove that you can sell ice to an Inuit person. (water bottler)
- I make people nauseous, give them vertigo, and make them scream. They almost always come back for more. (fair ride operator)
- I draw lines on the ground just so you can mess it up. I'll keep doing it again when you're done too. (sports field groundskeeper)
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