Small things 14 Aug

• I want to meet the illegally blind people....
  
• Irony: Insisting your kids go back to school this fall, but you won't listen to educated people when they say it's not a good idea.
• It's better to lose a second of your life than to lose your life in a second. Slow down.
• His Tinder bio says that he has a corner office with views of the entire city, drives a $500,000 vehicle, and is paid to travel. His dates never seem too happy when he tells them he's a bus driver.
• Dude 1: Hey, bro?Dude 2: Yeah bro? Dude 1: Can you pass me that pamphlet? Dude 2: Brochure
• I got arrested for illegally downloading Wikipedia in its entirety. Before I got arrested I said "wait I can explain everything".....
• We all know where the Big Apple is but does anyone know where the… Minneapolis?
• Why did Karen press Ctrl+Alt+Delete? She wanted to see the task manager. (*)
• During the Covid shutdown, men were losing $1 for every $0.79 women were losing......................
• If Americans switched from pounds to kilograms, there would be mass confusion.
• My friend keeps saying "cheer up man it could be worse, you could be stuck underground in a hole full of water." I know he means well.
• The reason the Republicans wouldn't impeach Trump is because they believe in carrying a baby to full term.
• The word 'nothing' is a palindrome. Spelled backwards it's 'gnihton', which also means nothing.
• If you buy a bigger bed, you'd have more bed room, but less bedroom.

(*) That will be my one and only Karen joke. Thank you very much. I'll be here all week.....