- If the police officer pulls you over and says "I think I smell alcohol" just say "That's because you're not respecting social distancing."
- Mars is inhabited solely by robots.
- At this rate, soon they'll be paying us to gas up....
- Will we be able to write off bath robes as a business expense this year?
- Previous civilizations probably weren't thrilled about isolation in the time of the Mongols either:
"Man, we've gotta open the gates."
"We've been through this Phil. The Mongols are still outside."
"But I've gotta harvest my turnips."
"MONGOLS."
"Ugh! But we've been here for WEEKS."
"That's how sieges work, Phil."
"But the Mongols have barely killed anyone in days."
"That's because of the walls, Phil."
"Are you sure? Maybe the Mongols aren't that dangerous."
"....."
"I'm just saying, how bad could it be? They can't kill ALL of us."
"That is literally the thing they do."
"But my turnips..."
No comments:
Post a Comment