Steak-Umm

Hey Canadians. If you've never gone grocery shopping in the US, I'd like to tell you about an interesting food product. Steak-Umms.

Imagine you're jonesing for some Philly cheese-steak sandwiches. Unless you're made of the kind of money that you could afford real steak and then slice it really thin, you're gonna go to the store and get a box of frozen Steak-Umm.

The picture on the box looks amazing. The reality in the box is the definition of underwhelming. Imagine very thin slices of processed uhh... beef, separated by thin sheets of wax paper. The steak sheets aren't much thicker.

You fry 'em up in a pan and dump 'em in a hoagie bun (that's what they call them in some parts). Add some sliced process cheese at the last minute to melt it and we'll call it a home-made cheese-steak sandwich.

I had them once upon a time, while visiting cousins in New Jersey. It's actually not bad. But one time I had them, I think my stomach was supremely insulted because it revolted the only way a stomach can. Sending it back out the way it came in. It was not a fun time that meal I can tell you.

Anyway, just thought I'd mention it to anyone who has never had them before. Steak-Umms. Proof that Americans will re-process anything.