Thursday, May 03, 2018

Small things 3 May

  • The only problem with the first 30 minutes of exercise is that only 2 minutes have gone by....
  • Tired of getting parking tickets? Just take your wipers off.
  • Make deals with the devil while you're still a child. Contracts signed by minors aren't legally binding.
  • The risk with getting too high, is that you might order a pizza, and open the box upside down and think they punked you with a crust-only pizza.
  • Is it crazy how saying sentences backwards creates backwards sentences saying how crazy it is?
  • Sometimes I look at pictures other people have posted online and say things like, "Hey!! I have that shed too!"
  • The word 'nun' is just the letter n doing a cartwheel.
  • When someone says "I need my space", that is NOT an invitation to remove all the furniture from their home.
  • Fake fact: A group of kangaroos is called a kangacrew. No? Kangagang?
  • UPS driver job requirements:

Should be dyslexic
Must be able to ring a doorbell and sprint 30 metres back to truck
Look good in brown shorts
Illegal parking skills beneficial

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