Small things 26 Jan

• Eating Tide Pods, eh? That's nothing. Back in our day we snorted Ajax.
• Words you hope never to find written in icing on the cake: 'Find the toenail!'
• I don't always have a valid argument. But when I do, it's later that day, in the bath.
• Why do people say "You've barely 'touched' your food"? Aren't we supposed to eat it?