Small things 13 Jan

• I was looking at someone's bucket list and one of the things was "Have one night stand". Why would you only want one night stand?
• Imagine if the first rule of religion was the same as the first rule of Fight Club.
• Dear America: Smarties are like unlabelled M&Ms. Notice the use of the word 'like'. Not 'in fact'.
• The message that brings me to the edge of lunacy: "There is an unexpected item in the bagging area."
• The Smart Car. It won't make you look tough, but it will get you out of helping your friends move....
• Ladies: The next time your man seems to be ignoring what you're saying, slip in "So, my ex called......"