Karl's Fake News 8 Dec

• Pentagon installed a 12 hour delay to President's nuclear launch button to prevent premature war.
• Apple's next iPhone will be a brain implant. It'll use a brand new iOS that is only compatible with brains educated to at least college level.
• Hilary Clinton has formally accused Bill Clinton of sexual harassment.
• Tim Hortons ready for cannabis legalization with new infused edibles, due next summer.
• Studies show that spanked children tend to hate their parents.
• iOS 12 to include built-in bullshit detector. When Siri overhears a known falacy, she will emit a loud and obnoxious 'WRONG!!'.