Wednesday, December 28, 2016

Christmas Seeds!

I think it's time to modernize the Christmas present myth a bit, considering how smart kids are these days. I mean seriously, are they really buying the whole 'Santa comes down the chimney' explanation for how the presents get under the tree? I think not. Never mind that most of us don't have chimneys anymore, and if we do, they're 4 or 6 inch stacks coming out of a furnace or wood stove. Plus, how does Santa get to every house in one night? Do we really think this ruse is going to work much longer? I sure don't. But I have an idea.

We make use of an already accepted fact of biology. Trees have seeds. Some even have cones filled with seeds. Those cones fall off the tree and grow new trees. So how about this: Christmas tree ornaments are just the pine cones that hold the seeds of your presents. They're already the right kind of tree. Santa uses his magic to convert them to presents on Christmas Eve as they fall off the tree. No chimneys required. No impossible space and time warping travel around the world. This solves a number of logistical problems too. If your child didn't get the present they were hoping for, you just explain that one of the seeds was defective and it didn't transform properly. Those ones become popcorn, so sprinkle a little of that around the tree too. Also, if your child wakes up in the middle of the night and sees only a few presents under the tree because you haven't finished placing the rest, just tell them that the transformations have started, but they pause any time a kid looks at the tree.

Just don't forget to put a few ornaments and some popcorn in your stockings, otherwise you'll have some new questions to answer.

See? Genius.......

No comments: