Things you say when you're over 50

• Do I seriously have to wait that long for my senior's discount?
• Is your mortgage paid off yet?
• Is that the last car you're ever going to buy?
• I can't believe it's [insert current month or year here] already!
• No, I feel fine, why do you ask?
• Did I ever tell you how far I had to walk to school in the snow?
• Let's go to Swiss Chalet!
• What do you mean 'I look tired'?
• Kids today......
• See that limb twitching? I'm not doing that consciously.
• I was up at 5am. Yes, I know it's Saturday.
• Seriously, if you call me 'Sir' [or Ma'am] one more time.....
• Is there a pay phone around here?
• Help me get up....
• What's wrong with Herb Alpert?
• Back in the olden days......
• How do you expect someone my age to limit my thoughts to 140 characters?
• Stop calling it 'classic rock'. I prefer to call it 'the only music that mattered'.
• Grey hair makes me look distinguished? So what you're saying is that you can distinguish me from a 30 year old?
• That prune juice went right through me. No pun intended.
• If by 'chillaxing' you mean napping, then yes, I'm chillaxing...
• What?
• You know............... I forgot what I was going to say.