Describing something normal so that it sounds weird - take three

There are these things that we sometimes own that are so much a part of us that we give them more attention than they often deserve. We adorn them with fancy accessories and clean them like it was an obsession. In some cases, the accessories are worth more than the object itself. When we use them they somehow change our personality, they're like emotion amplifiers. When we're mad, we'll yell at other people and give them the finger. When we're happy, we'll sing really loud and look like a real fool. Many people find it very difficult to live life without them. We dig some of the deepest holes in the ground to make sure that we can use these things with the gunk that comes out of the hole. Some folks suggest that owners of these things deserve special treatment compared to other people and that everything should revolve around those who own them. People will fight over who gets to sit in a certain seat. We have to learn how to use them properly, but it seems that most owners forget the rules pretty fast. I'm talking of course about the car.