Sunday, June 19, 2011

Message to dads

I can't tell you how long it has been since I last saw my father. It's at least 17 years, but it may be more. On this Father's Day, I'm resigned to the idea that I may never see or speak to my father again. It's not like I haven't tried. But this is not my choice, it is his. He became convinced that it was not possible to juggle his old family and his new family (he is divorced from my mother) without conflict. I don't even know if he's alive. Neither am I convinced that his new partner in life would have the decency to tell his kids from his original marriage that he had passed. For that I am sad. It is the bittersweet story of life. On the one hand, I stubbornly keep his memory as far from my daily thoughts as I can. From time to time however, I crave the bond that all children have with their father. To share my successes and ask for advice only a father can provide.

So my only wish, other than that my father someday puts aside his pride and makes an effort to be even a small part of our lives again, is that fathers look past their egos and do what is best for their kids by maintaining a civil presence in their lives.

Not to be a total downer - I am a happy father. A step-father to be sure, but I think of myself no more a step-father than I think of my mother as my step-mother. Even more, I am a grandfather to a girl who has brought so much happiness into my life. So there may be some sadness, but it is eclipsed with much joy. Love to all and have a glorious day.

2 comments:

carlae said...

Well said Mr P.

Anonymous said...

Ditto! Happy Father's Day hug to you! retro