Sunday, November 07, 2010

Delivering at the speed of suck

Canada Post - not my favourite service provider. Let's start with the postal outlet counter. No matter how much mediocre training you provide a minimum wage earning drug store clerk, the quality of service is going to suffer when there's only one person working the counter. A counter that is supposed to serve not just folks picking up and mailing parcels and letter mail, but also filling out student loan applications and money orders. Once in a while you'll see a duo in action, but just as the masses get off work and hit the malls at 5pm, that's when one person goes home, or on break, leaving one poor sap to deal with the hordes.

Then there's the carriers. A more dyslexic, lazy, militant bunch I have never met. I get other people's mail all the time. Not even for the same postal code. One can only wonder who else is getting our mail. Parcel delivery is a joke. I've seen 'You weren't home so we left this card for you to bring to the local outlet to collect your parcel' cards hanging from our front door even as the doorbell has remained silent. They don't bother to ring to check if anyone was home. On the odd chance that the doorbell is actually rung, the postie is back in the truck so fast that tears will form in the space-time continuum. By the time you open your door to see who it is, the truck is already speeding off and that familiar calling card is hanging from the doorknob. If there is such a thing as a time-freeze device.... I'm telling you - the posties have it.

Worse, when you finally get to the postal outlet counter to collect your parcel, you find yourself stuck back in line again with a dozen or more other people, waiting impatiently for the immigrant family to fill out their student loan applications. You get to the counter 30 minutes later only to find out that the parcel hasn't even arrived yet, stuck in some hellish parcel limbo. Translation - the postie who refused to wait for you to answer the door is busy trolling the nearest Tim Hortons for a double-double and a cruller. If you're lucky, the parcel might be at the outlet tomorrow.

Honestly, the only reason Canada Post is still in business is because of eBay, Christmas cards and that all of the Boomers haven't died off yet.


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