If cats had written guidelines...

...This is about what they would be. Excerpt:

Bathrooms: Always accompany guests to the bathroom. It is not necessary to do anything . . . just sit and stare.

For book readers, get in close under the chin, between eyes and book, unless you can lie across the book itself.

Paper Bags: Within paper bags dwell the bag mice. They are small and camouflaged to be the same colour as the bag, so they are hard to see. But you can easily hear the crinkling noises they make as they scurry around the bag. Anything, up to and including shredding the bag, can be done to kill them.

It's a great read for any cat owner / lover.