How not to be yourself......

Over at eHow, they have a list on 'How to get sexy, available women to come to you in a bar'.

1. Dress like you're rich. Even if you aren't. It will attract more women. Wear slacks, a belt, nice shirt, nice shoes clean hair and a nice watch. Men have it easy when it comes to looking good.
2. Carry yourself with authority from the moment you enter the bar. Keep your head up, walk proud, and give a warm smile to everyone you see.
3. Ignore the hot women. Women play games. Hot women are used to being approached and will blow you off. You are better than them. Make them work.
4. Speak confidently to the bar tender, the waitress, and the people at your table. Speak as though you mean to be heard without yelling please.
5. When women come to you, don't give them too much attention. Say hi, introduce yourself and continue talking to your people. Make her work for your attention.
6. Never spend too much time with a woman. Give her a couple minutes, and then talk to other people, even other hot women. Make it known that you are wanted by many, and you don't need her.
7. Enjoy the attention from sexy women, but don't show it.

Oh...... my gut. That was too funny. So funny, that it inspired me to make the opposing list for women - 'How to get hot, available men to come to you in a bar':

1. Dress like you're easy, even if you're not. It's what men go for. Wear the shortest skirt possible, thong, a shirt that bares your midriff and high heels from fetish stores. You've got skin..... show it!
2. Carry yourself like a pageant contestant from the moment you enter the bar. Keep your head up, walk proud, and give a warm smile to everyone you see.
3. Ignore the athletic men. These men are used to getting what they want and will expect you to fawn over them. Their Achilles heel is their ego. Hurt it but good.
4. Speak like the stereotypical dumb blond to everyone. Speak as though you know very little and everything is extraordinarily funny. Laugh as loud as you can.
5. When men approach you, act like they're the only person in the room. Flirt shamelessly, act interested in what he says. Make him feel important.
6. Never focus on just one man. Give him a couple minutes and then wander over to other men, even other hot women. Make it seem that you are available, and that whoever wants you might have to fight over you.
7. Enjoy the attention from the men, but don't actually leave with one.

Just as ridiculous, huh?