Look out!

Sometimes bloopers are downright dangerous. This is one that could have been fatal if this woman had been just a few feet farther back.

Funny how the line between catastrophe and comical is razor thin.

Chicks with books

Oh yay though I hath said it before, t'will be spoken yet four score and plenty more times again - the internet has everything you could possibly want and more. So, for example, if you were into something like........... oh, I don't know.................... women with a literary bent..............

I can help you out!

The only problem I have is that some of these library junkies may in fact be posers. Just because you are photographed holding a book, doesn't mean you actually read them.

Wait a minute - that girl there! She's not reading! She's making a photocopy of a book! That's a clear violation of the DMCA! After her! Felonious copyright thief!

Caption this photo

Caption this photo (in the comments) I stole from defective yeti. I dare you.

Then read the hilarious back story behind the photo at defective yeti.

Come for the 3rd degree, stay for the pancakes

I guess IHOP (International House of Pancakes for people who've never been to America - or BC) has been having problems with dine n dash. In one of their restaurants, they had been asking patrons to turn over their driver's licenses to be served. One patron who had been a victim of ID theft said "no freaking way!" and IHOP's mother ship had to make policy.

Netizen = you recognize at least 25 logos

If you liked any of the pixel art I've mentioned in the past, you may want to feast your eyes on this monster. It's Web 2.0 like you've never seen it before.

And it appears that you can buy it as a poster.

One reason not to cheat

From the best of craigslist, an open letter from a wife to her husband's errr...... mistress. Or as the wife refers to her........ awww you get the picture. Not to be read by anyone easily offended.

I think she's a bit pissed off.

This billboard is funny too........ if it's real.

Maybe we need to genetically engineer ink?

What's the most expensive liquid by volume? Not blood.

P.S.: I cannot be certain these figures are in fact correct, having stole them from the interweb.

Music history

What song was number one on the day you were born? How about your 18th birthday? Depending on which flag you click on, it will give an answer based on that country's charts. Find out......

I'm too embarrassed to tell you mine....... I've either never heard of them or would not want to be associated with that song.

"It's not the same, takes two to know"

David Gilmour (of The Pink Floyd) is going to release a few tunes as a tribute to late founder Syd Barrett. David Bowie will sing on one of the tunes, "Arnold Lane".

[clapping excitedly] Oooooo!! [still clapping]

OK........ this is beyond cool. Looking for that special picture to put on your wall? One that will start a conversation guaranteed? Then let Rob Sacchetto turn you into a zombie. Just send Rob a head shot of yourself and he will hand draw an 8 x 10 portrait of you as a zombie. For only $80 plus S&H!!!

That's a little hard to swallow

Darlene read to me this cool tip the other day that I did not know. Have you ever had trouble swallowing a pill? You might think throwing your head back helps. But it doesn't. In fact, the opposite is true. If you want to swallow that pill with the least amount of effort, tilt your head forward a little and drink the water. It will go down with the water quite easily. I tried this and it works, although it's spooky the first time you try it.

Levitation trick ruined

Have you ever wondered how they do that levitation trick? You know - the one where the person is suspended and the magician manages to pass their hand, then a ring or something around the person's torso? Wonder no more my friends. There are surely a million magicians right now going "thanks for spoiling it - bucko!". The video's in Japanese, but you'll get it, don't worry. Oh - and that's not a real woman.......

It's funny... in a lame sorta way

The animation is wanting, but the lyrics are clever. The Man Song.

Will they ever run out of funny ideas?

Fantastic Worth1000 contest that has those crafty photoshoppers create advertisements out of works of art.

Pictured here, Axe Deodorant ad. Nicely done.

Any bets this film is boycotted by big movie houses?

There's a new documentary I'd really like to see in the future called This Film is Not Yet Rated. It tells the story of the Motion Picture Association of America's rating board and demonstrates its discrimination against "sympathetic portrayals of gay sexuality and sex in general, and its tacit support for ultra-violence."

The film unveils the secrets of the board and the appeals committee that is meant to hold the board in check. Read more about this film here.

Nation within a nation [snort]

I'm originally from Quebec. Spent the first 18 years of my life there. The rest of my family are still there. So I believe I understand the whole issue of why Quebecois think they're special. They are. For similar reasons that First Nations people are special. For similar reasons that Acadians are special. For similar reasons that Newfoundlanders are special. Need I go on?

The Quebec sovereigntist movement tries to advance their agenda based on (among other things) how Canada's federal government does not address the unique ambitions and desires of the Quebec populace. They may be right. But how is this different from Alberta suggesting Canada's federal government does not address the unique ambitions and desires of the Alberta populace. The same could be said for many First Nations groups too.

So when the federal government tries to forward a motion stating that Quebec is a nation within Canada, I have to disagree. Quebec is a distinct cultural hub within Canada, with a set of values and ideals unique to its people. But so are there many other such hubs in this country. The only thing that makes Quebec any different from these other hubs is that it is a founding force that brought the country together and is the cultural centre of our other official language.

This is pure political posturing on the part of the Conservatives to shore up support in a province that (as always) will be key to them winning a majority in the next election. But it's a dangerous precedent. I would not be surprised if the Assembly of First Nations lines up next and exclaims "We want a motion passed too. Or we're outta here!"

A week of mourning

I am a little sad of late. One of - if not the smartest guy I know, Jon Watson, is leaving our company in about a week. Jon is going to work for a firm that will make it easier for small businesses to deploy multi-purpose servers, by...... well, I shouldn't let the cat out of the bag in case it's a trade secret. I'll let Jon tell you more in the comments if he's so inclined.

This is going to sound so pompous, but I don't care. It's not often I meet folks who can keep up with me mentally, but Jon is one of those people. It was a blast working with you bud, and I hope we get to do it again someday. I wish you all the best in your new venture - I know in my heart it has the makings of a massive hit. NAVY!

Why pilots have checklists... what's that alarm sound?

Pilots are a skillful bunch. The skills they require would boggle the mind of the ordinary civilian. I'm beginning to understand some of what a pilot goes through while flying. Today I was coming in for a landing at the Vancouver International Airport and things were looking good. I had my flaps fully extended, my air speed was right where I wanted it, I was lined up nicely and my glide path was almost right down the middle. I had no co-pilot - I was going this one alone. My master alarm was clanging away and I had no idea why, so I chose to ignore it. The Airbus A320's voice was squawking some crap at me, but I was too focused on keeping the plane lined up. It didn't hit me until I touched down. That's when the plane broke up. Because even when you're only doing 120 knots, if your landing gear isn't down and locked, you're going to have some big problems.

Now I understand the importance of check lists. Oh yeah - and paying attention to your alarms. Luckily this only happened in my flight simulator.

Tattoos and piercing

I do not have a tattoo. This is my choice. I have nothing against tattoos. In fact, I think many tattoos look fantastic. My problem is with their destiny. Having seen what my father's Navy tattoo turned into, I have always feared how any tattoo may transform into a messy blob of unrecognizable inkiness. Now, I understand perfectly that today's artwork is less likely to suffer the same fate. But even if that turns out to be true, there still is a longevity issue of another kind - appropriateness. That little devil or whatever might be cute now, but what kind of message will it send in your 70's? Maybe a good one - who knows?

Then there's body piercing. The ears, nose and lips have been getting things stuck through them for ages - other body parts coming later (but much longer than the last few decades). Piercing is often associated with certain sexual lifestyle choices. But I often wonder if everyone that chooses this type of body modification realizes what messages this potentially sends out - especially if they chose piercings for other reasons. I don't have any piercings either. Once again, I have nothing against them, I just never saw any good reason to get any. Maybe I see them as trendy.

Whether you like them or not, tattoos and piercings still have a lot of bias attached. There are a lot of businesses that would still discriminate against folks who have visible markings on their body. I'd like to see a study done that examines why people get tattoos and piercings. It would be interesting to see those figures.

Check out wikipedia for its articles on tattoos and piercings.

Did I suddenly get popular?

Wow. For the first time ever, my blog saw over 250 page views in one day (yesterday). Did I inadvertantly post naked pictures in one of my posts?

If I had my own radio station - Esthero

It really is a shame that modern radio (around these parts anyway) has to be so exclusive. If I had my own radio station, I'd introduce you to Canadian artist Jen-Bea Englishman - aka Esthero. Her unique voice sets her apart from the mainstream. She has a new album out, but her debut Breath From Another released in 1998 is a favourite in my collection. The lead off single - That Girl, would be the most familiar tune if you watched the video channels in 1998. But it's the song Country Livin' (The World I Know) that has the perfect balance of production values and vocal. Here the instruments take more of a back seat to her vocal chords. And this girl has a very unique - achy, breathy voice – with just a hint of the kind of power reserved for the great jazz singers. Ever heard of Feist? Vocally, they are very related.

We be chillin'

Jack Frost decided to christen the western half of our country in the last few days. We're in the thick of it now as you can see from todays' forecast. But fear not ye revellers in the East - Jack is (so I'm told) slowly doing a cross-country tour that should amble it all the way to the Atlantic. So unpack yer parkas and yer mitts and dust off that shovel. [snicker]

P.S.: for my non-metric friends - minus 29C is minus 20F

Ze Frank - the Max Headroom of our time?

In case you haven't been watching Ze Frank regularly, he put on a great show on the 21st of November, where he describes a Thanksgiving family gathering as if it were an invasion of a foreign country.......... like Iraq for example.

P.S.: I am in fact working on a Canadian flavoured opener for The Show, which I hope to have 'in the can' and submitted by Christmas. It will not contain interpretive dance, nor be a musical. But there will be backbacon.......

Oowwwooooooo! Isn't that scary kids?!

Speaking of blogs nominated in the 2006 Canadian Blogs Awards, I damn near lost it when I saw this amazing post by SheenaVision. If you're a fan of the TV show SCTV, you'll know why I laughed so hard: Monster Chiller Horror Tax Cuts pits the current Tory finance minister's look against Count Floyd from SCTV........ genius.

This isn't the only blog with good stuff you know

Best line from an 'about me' section of a blog seen lately: "Our deck is where Jesus will return when he comes again." - Megfowler.com (nominated for best personal blog in the 2006 Canadian Blog Awards)

Best entry read on her blog (so far): Thanksgiving Haiku

Sometimes you gotta go............. but you can't

While shopping the other day, I felt the urge to take a leak (or is it 'leave' a leak?). I put it off and put it off (I am told guys can hold it in with greater ease than women), but was feeling a crisis coming on if I delayed much longer. We had a couple things to get at Canadian Tire, a place I assumed would serve my other need as well.

My advice to you - if you're needing a bathroom, don't wait for a Canadian Tire store to look for one. If you haven't noticed, these stores have expanded of late, making it hard just to see across to the other walls of the store. But worse, the place is bereft of signage indicating the way toward relief. If the garden centre had actually been open, I would have been tempted to visit just to re-enact the male outdoor ritual of the virtual latrine.

Luckily, we got out of the store in a timely manner and managed to make it to an adjacent restaurant.

Show of hands

How perceptive are you? How many of you fine readers have noticed that the subtext under "White Noise" changes every few days? Does anyone have a favourite?

You've come a long way....

I found this great (albeit short) clip of the evolution of video games through the years. I hope someone creates one a little bit longer someday (or maybe they have and I just haven't found it yet).

Like.... whatever

My latest de-motivational poster.

Karl needs to vent - Palm needs to listen

I love my Palm Tungsten E. When it works. Mine seems to have a defect. My Palm seems to be susceptible to static. When I have it on my person and there's a lot of static buildup from my clothes, I often find that it won't turn on anymore with the power button. But wait - that's not the defect. The cure for not turning on is a soft reset. On my Palm, a soft reset results in complete personal data loss. Calendar entries? Gone. Contact? Ditto. Memos, Same. That's not supposed to happen. That's a defect. I checked. I can read. (really)

It's a minor annoyance, but it sure would be nice to get it fixed. But I'm not paying for it - even though the warranty has expired. Why? Because it's a defect. How do I know? I base this conclusion on the fact that Palm's own online documents mention the defect (of course - they don't call it a defect). Their inclusion of the problem in their site is evidence that it's a well known problem. OK, ignore that. Do a web search on the issue and you'll get plenty of returns from people just like me with the same problem. And they're not happy. Because they feel the same way I do. They don't feel they should pay to get a defect fixed either.

Palm doesn't share our position. They would rather we call for support (which costs) which will likely result in having to send the thing in to get fixed (which costs some more). I say no. I'm not paying. It's a defect. Defects should result in a recall. Recalls don't cost the customer money. Customers who don't have to pay to resolve known defects are happy customers. Happy customers become repeat customers. They also tend to attract more potential customers.

Are you listening - Palm? I love my Palm. Whether I buy another one is entirely up to you.

Put on your geography hats!

What city is this?

Yes - I know the picture is small. Pretend you're an Interpol super agent and stop whining.

Email - missing the rulebook?

An email account, whether a personal one or a corporate, doesn't come with instructions. Yet many people have been thrust into the world of email messages unprepared for the social, ethical and professional chaos and security risks that are part of this form of communication.

Time for a remedy? Yes. I present 99 tips that will make you secure and more productive (and keep you out of trouble).

Courtesy ITSecurity.com

Will we be like this when we're old?

My friend Ken could have used this advice earlier

Have you ever gotten your cell phone wet - even submerged? Hope is not lost, but you have to act fast. Here's the skinny on rescuing a wet phone.

Loaded with truthiness

The English language continues to evolve(?) and languagemonitor.com is there to guide us through the growth(?).

Top TeleWord (word from television that profoundly influenced the English language): Truthiness - from The Colbert Report

Top HollyWord: Brokeback

Top political buzzword: Ethanol

Before anyone asks what the picture has to do with words - only that there are words written on the wall in the picture. I like the picture. Sue me. Picture by bennybedlam.

No test needed to listen to radio... or use telephone

The classic rock radio station in Calgary has a decent morning show. Recently, they began a new trivia game called Stump the Chumps. They choose a random topic (music, movies, TV, whatever) and callers have to try and stump the morning show people with a question. They pride themselves on being trivia buffs, so it's usually a good showing.

So imagine if you will, that you have a question to stump the chumps. I'm guessing that not only do you have a great question - but that you also know the answer to said question, right? Well, not this one guy. He actually called in, posed a question, stumped them, and when the radio dudes asked "so what's the answer?", the caller didn't know. Then the caller got upset when the radio crew said, "well, that doesn't qualify - you have to know the answer to your own question!"

I'm not making this up folks............

The volume knob that goes to 11 tee

I must have this t-shirt. If anyone ever sees it for sale anywhere, you must do your duty and tell me. I mean it.

For those that don't know the reference, Spinal Tap makes reference to their amp that goes to 11.

Design can be fun

This site is not English, but the animations that happen when you click on stuff (and even when you don't - but clicking opens more stuff) is very imaginative.

I like it!

I have no idea how reliable these little trinkets are (I may know eventually, as my buddy Jon has bought a couple), but I think these USB wristbands are freaking awesome! Finally, a handy way to wear your USB memory stick (thumb drive - whatever).

Wonder Woman looks a little worse for wear

I came quite close to spraying my coffee when I saw these works of art by Gilles Barbier. Besides the work you see here (the Hulk, Superman and Catwoman), Captain America, Wonder Woman, and Elastic Man (?).

Where is it - round 4

Name the city. I'm making it a little tougher this time - no large version of the picture. What you see is what you have to work with.

The man with the Midas touch

With the new Bond movie out, I have to ask - have you ever seen all the Bond movie opening sequences? They're famous! Bond movie openers - perhaps a barometer of sexual attitudes through the decades? You decide..........

P.S.: Just watch the video at the linked site and be patient - each movie loads in turn.

Only in Japan.............

In Japan, you won't just find incredible light displays in the shopping districts - you'll find them on their trucks (dekotora) too. More pictures here.

Mmmmm...................... soapy

Have you ever seen what happens when you microwave a bar of soap? Well, what are you still doing here.........

"It should still be sniffed and tasted for freshness"

Do you have a Christmas tree to put up? Do you have cats? Then let them do it. They'll appreciate it more that way...........

And it understands that drawl too.....

Here's an example of a smart dog. Or is it just well-trained? I'm banking on the latter.

Maybe now even politicians will hear

You may have heard me go on at length about DRM. The problem as I saw it is that such a serious threat to consumer rights (as I see it anyway) usually only sees the light of day in the more obscure online resources - blogs and the like. No longer. Newsweek has brought the issue to light.

"Get that fat canine ass outta my way!"

Boww chicka boww boww

If you liked the Lasse Gjertsen drum and piano video I posted about last week, you'll love this creation: Hyperactive Machine. Make sure the volume is turned up for this one - especially if there are kids in the house. You will never get your computer back for hours........

Airbuses come from big giant storks.....

"Look, that big mommy airplane is having little baby airplanes!"

Wikiwarning

As you may or may not know, Wikipedia is to online encyclopedia what Google is to search. But Wikipedia has the added advantage of being self-correcting by people like you. People with an obvious sense of humour as they now use entry warning flags (to indicate a problem with the existing material) as seen here.