Can you tell I've been travelling a lot lately?

I don't understand airports. Like why do they have to wipe down my laptop looking for explosives residue, but they're apathetic about the cell phone, MP3 player and PDA in my jacket. Why do they insist I remove my Doc Marten shoes before walking through the sensor thingy, but some girl wearing shoes with heels so huge, they could be packed with enough hidden weapons to silence a platoon of Marines gets to keep hers on. A person can enter the secure area sober as a judge, but by the time they are ready to board their flight, they're suddenly drunk enough to berate the airline staff because their seat can't be changed from an aisle to a window with only 5 minutes left until departure. How can an airport can have an army of cleaning staff wandering the halls 24 hours a day, but they can't manage to keep a half dozen restaurants and stores open as long as there are flights waiting to leave. I don't understand why they choose the firmest, most uncomfortable seating for people to wait for their flights. Some airports have some nice chairs, but the ratio is usually 1 good one for every 50 bad ones. Certain airports can spend hundreds of millions of dollars on the most modern, avante-garde architecture in their renovations or new building design - but they can't spend a few thousand on some frickin' wireless Internet!