He's not a cheese

This list of New Rules for 2006 is funny. My faves:

New Rule 5:
Ladies, leave your eyebrows alone. Here's how much men care about your eyebrows: do you have two of them? Okay, we're done.

New Rule 8:
The more complicated the Starbucks order, the bigger the asshole. If you walk into a Starbucks and order a "decaf grandee half-soy, half-low fat, iced vanilla, double-shot, gingerbread cappuccino, extra dry, light ice, with one Sweet-n'-Low and one NutraSweet," ooh buddy, you're a huge asshole.

New Rule 10:
Just because your tattoo is a butterfly with Chinese characters under it doesn't make you spiritual. It's right above your left breast and it translates to "beef with broccoli." The last time you did anything spiritual, you were praying to God you weren't pregnant......

New Rule 13:
If you're going to insist on making movies based on crappy, old television shows, then you have to give everyone in the Cineplex a remote so we can see what's playing on the other screens. Let's remember the reason something was a television show in the first place is the idea wasn't good enough to be a movie.

New Rule 16:
When I ask how old your toddler is, I don't need to know in months. "27 months." "He's two," will do just fine. He's not a cheese.......