Friday, December 30, 2005

My predictions for 2006:

  • Although another world event drives oil prices beyond $80/barrel, Albertans still do not rid themselves of gas-guzzling trucks
  • The Donald will guest star on episodes of Saturday Night Live and fire the really bad cast members
  • A fast food restaurant chain will finally cave and admit that their food isn't really very healthy
  • Hospitals in Western Canada will be inundated with victims of fainting spells as the Liberals form yet another government on January 23rd.
  • Angelina and Brad will marry........... and divorce (no really)
  • President Bush will blame global warming on air horns at sporting events
  • The MIT project to develop a $100 computer for third world countries will bomb as a result of the target countries' annoying lack of available electricity
  • the RIAA will weigh the pros and cons of suing people caught humming popular tunes in public
  • We will discover (yet another) new planet in our solar system. It will be named Homer.
  • David Letterman will guest on Oprah - he'll make fun of her set furniture...... and the feud will be back on
  • All those scam e-mails from Nigeria will be revealed as nothing but a huge practical joke on the world by Ashton Kutcher as part of the next season of Punk'd
  • The CIA will ban air horns at sporting events................... global warming will continue
  • By the end of 2006, there will be nobody left on Saturday Night Live, as Donald Trump will have fired them all
  • Stephen Harper will step down, the Conservatives finally coming to realize that they'll never get elected as long as the leader had any ties to the old Reform party. Bernard Lord will run and win their next leadership convention. He will then go on to be the next PM.

2 comments:

Bernie May said...

Not bad. Only two nits to pick: the $100 laptop has a hand-crank & wifi, and everybody knows that the average global temperature is inversely proportional to the number of pirates :-)

Karl Plesz said...

[guffaw!] A hand crank!! Please excuse me, but I'm having a hard time not laughing hysterically at the visual you just seeded in my head on that one.......

"Why is my file downloading so slowly?"

"You have to turn the crank faster..... faster!"