Mitch, I hardly knew ya........

In my continuing "I must have climbed out from under a rock" saga - I recently discovered comedian Mitch Hedberg (R.I.P.). This guy was good. So I've been on a Mitch hunt for a few days and revelling in his material. Some faves:

The depressing thing about tennis is that no matter how much you play, you'll never be as good as a wall. I played a wall once, they're fucking relentless.

I order a club sandwich all the time. And I'm not even a member. I don't know how I get away with it. "I like my sandwiches with three pieces of bread." "So do I." "Lets form a club then." "Okay, but we're gonna need more stipulations." "Yes we do." "OK... instead of cutting it once, lets cut it again." "Yeah, four triangles." "And we will position them in a circle. And in the middle we will dump chips." "Or potato salad." "Ok." "Let me ask you a question, how do you feel about frilly toothpicks?" "I'm for 'em!" "Well, this club is formed. Spread the news on menus nationwide." "I like my sandwiches with alfalfa sprouts." "Well you're not in the fucking club!"

What's a sesame seed grow into? I don't know, we never give them a chance. What the fuck is a sesame?! It's a street. It's a way to open shit.

Oh my...........I have to stop. But you don't. Mitch Hedberg quotes here. Videos here.

Wear protection, if you know what I mean......