Canada - not as odd as you might think

I know this is the latest viral doing the rounds, but I thought it was cute and decided to capture some of what I've received and tweak it a little. These are supposed (I know they're not real) questions posted on an International Tourism site:

Q: Will I be able to see Polar Bears in the street? (USA)
A: Depends on what you've been drinking - or smoking.

Q: I want to walk from Vancouver to Toronto - can I follow the railroad tracks? (Sweden)
A: Sure. Bring lots of water.

Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Canada? (Sweden)
A: So it is true what they say about Swedes.

Q: Are there any ATMs in Canada? Can you send me list of them in Toronto, Vancouver, Edmonton & Halifax? (UK)
A: Canada still uses beaver pelts for currency. OK, seriously, our ATMs dispense monopoly money.

Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Canada? (USA)
A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe. Ca-na-da is that big country to your north. OK, fine, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Calgary. Come naked.

Q: Which direction is north in Canada? (USA)
A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees. Start driving. Contact us when you get here and we'll send the rest of the directions.

Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? (USA)
A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which is ... Oh, forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys' Choir plays every Tuesday night in Calgary, just after the hippo races. Come naked.

Q: Can you tell me the regions in British Columbia where the female population is smaller than the male population? (Italy)
A: Yes, gay nightclubs.

Q: Do you celebrate Thanksgiving in Canada? (USA)
A: Not since the mad turkey outbreak. I'm kidding, we do......but only on Thanksgiving Day.

Q: Are there supermarkets in Toronto and is milk available all year round? (Germany)
A: No, milk is illegal in our Vegan culture.

Q: I was in Canada in 1969 on R & R and I want to contact the girl I dated while I was staying in Surrey, BC. Can you help? (USA)
A: Yes, and you will still have to pay her by the hour.
or alternatively A: Yes, and she's expecting $39,000 in child support.

Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? (USA)
A: Yes, but first you will have to learn it.