I'll introduce a few here, the rest will be in the comments. Feel free to add your own creations / discoveries in the comments too.
My tire was thumping.
I thought it was flat
When I got out to look...
I noticed your cat.
Sorry!
Heard your wife left you,
How upset you must be.
But don't fret about it...
She's safe with me.
I must admit, you brought Religion into my life.
I never believed in Hell until I met you.
So your daughter's a hooker,
and it spoiled your day.
Look at the bright side,
She's making great pay.
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Looking back over the years
that we've been together,
I can't help but wonder...
"What the hell was I thinking?"
Congratulations on your wedding day!
Too bad no one likes your husband.
How could two people as beautiful as you
Have such an ugly baby?
As the days go by, I think of how lucky I am...
That you're not here to ruin it for me.
When we were together,
You always said you'd die for me.
Now that we've broken up,
I think it's time you kept your promise.
Hah! Those were great! Sadly, I'm not that creative to come up with my own.
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