Whale stew

 

Small things 28 Jul

• I think it’s time to ban melon and grapes from fruit bowls / plates.
• 20 years from now, the only people who will remember that you worked late are your kids.
• Not everyone thinks Cleopatra is beautiful… But that's how Julius Caesar.
• The next time you get into an argument with someone, just challenge them to a duel. But the only weapon you’re allowed to use is compliments. Try it.
• A pizza is a pie chart, in real time, of how much pizza is left. Or a pie. Hang on, my mind just exploded.
• Ask a Gen-Z what the ‘pod’ in podcast refers to. Or for that matter, what the ‘cast’ in podcast refers to.
• Remember back when gadget designers all thought it would be cool to make cases for everything transparent so we could see the electronics inside?
• My muscles and joints seem shocked and dismayed that I want to use them for their intended purpose.
• Soup. When you want to find food hidden in hot water. Bonus: The water is flavoured by the food, so each sip of the water hints to what food is being hidden.
• Subtle insults: Wisdom has been chasing you, but you have always been faster.
• Four roommates are extraterrestrials who have taken human form in the hopes of learning about Earth's culture. In a fun twist, each alien is from a different planet and believes the other three are normal humans. I’d watch this TV show.
• Jeff Bezos has everything he needs to be Santa. But he’s definitely not Santa. He’s kind of like a modern Grinch who sold Christmas.
• Store self checkouts: I haven’t quite made enough money for you yet, let me do the work of your employees too.

Why did you resign?

 

Vinyl is making a comeback

For the 2nd year in a row, vinyl albums outsold CD albums in the US in 2022. Let that sink in for a minute. Vinyl album sales have been growing for 17 consecutive years. Over 43 million vinyl albums were sold in 2022 (up 4.2% from 41.72 million in 2021). Vinyl sales comprised over 43% of ALL US album purchases in 2022 — both digital and physical. Vinyl LPs accounted for over 54% of all physical albums sold in 2022. There were a total of 88 albums that sold at least 50,000 copies on vinyl. While vinyl album sales gain each year, only half of those fans buying records actually own a record player (based on polling data).

TOP 10 Vinyl Albums of 2022 in US

1. Taylor Swift, Midnights (945,000)

2. Harry Styles, Harry’s House (480,000)

3. Olivia Rodrigo, Sour (263,000)

4. Kendrick Lamar, good kid, m.A.A.d city (254,000)

5. Fleetwood Mac, Rumours (243,000)

6. Tyler, the Creator, Call Me If You Get Lost (211,000)

7. Taylor Swift, Folklore (174,000)

8. Tyler, the Creator, Igor (172,000)

9. Michael Jackson, Thriller (168,000)

10. The Beatles, Abbey Road (160,000)

It's the same guy

 

Social media types

I'm often amused by the dynamics of a Facebook relationship. Bear in mind that the following descriptions are my experiences only and have no resemblance to the same relationships in real life.

The friend. They engage with you and your content on a regular basis. By 'regular', I mean at least a few times per month.

The window shopper. They pretty much never engage with you or your content. As a result, Facebook's algorithms have pulled their posts from your feed and you haven't seen any of their content either.

The over-sharer. They always inject themselves into a conversation, even when they don't see anyone engaging with their injections. When a thread has nothing really to do with them, they find a way to step in and make it about them too.

The historian. They post pictures of everything. Every trip, every meal, every family visit, every party, every walk. Their life is an open book.

The troll. They always post a comment designed to provoke outrage, anger, etc. Often they don't even believe what they're saying, they just do it for effect.

The Vague Queen. They like to post mysterious updates like “I am crushed…not sure I can go on”. These vague posts invite a hailstorm of concerned replies like “Are you okay?” “What’s going on?” ….which the queen either ignores, or replies in an equally vague way like “It’s just been an unbelievably awful day”.

The humble bragger. This person really really wants you to know how successful / smart / awesome they are without blatantly bragging. They will do some variation of making a boring statement with evidence of their success in the background, or the pic will be EveryJill or EveryJoe while they post with some sort of charming detail, as in “We’re building our $3 million dream home!”

The political ranter. They typically take themselves and their political opinions very seriously. They buy into every salacious headline that plays into their chosen political stripe and go on a tirade at regular intervals. Everything is the PM’s / President’s / Governor’s / Premier’s fault. They are typically intolerant when someone dares question their position. Usually they are looking for virtual high-fives from like-minded friends rather than rational discourse.

The guilt tripper. Their posts often start with “Let’s see how many people are actually reading my posts….” The post often ends with a demand to copy and paste their post – NOT share it!

Dad's urn

 

Things I learned lately 28 Jul

• Families with trans children are fleeing the state of Florida, or trying to decide whether to flee, because of the direction state law and culture is going.
• For both June 2023 and the last 6 months combined, the top selling car model (gas or electric) in Europe is the Tesla Model Y.
• Norway and Sweden both have “freedom to roam” laws. This means residents can camp anywhere they want, except on private property.
• Norway and Sweden spend the most (as a portion of their GDP) on education of all EU countries, at 8% and 7.7% respectively.
• Two Ocean Creek, in Wyoming, splits at ‘the parting of the waters. The west split takes a route to the Pacific Ocean and the other split takes a path to the Atlantic Ocean.
• During the American Civil War, the number of soldiers on American soil grew from under 25,000 to over 1,000,000. After the war was over, the number shrank down to about 40,000.
• In the lead up to World War II, Nazi Germany went from having about 125,000 soldiers to over 3,000,000 by the start of the war. America mobilized 12 million military by 1944.
• When Samuel de Champlain settled Quebec in 1608, only two other European settlements existed north of Mexico (not including the Caribbean), St Augustine and Jamestown.
• In 1950, Canada was the third largest car producer, albeit way behind the US. By 1960, Canada had dropped to 8th place and Germany, in 2nd place, was making huge gains. By 1970, Japan had replaced Germany in 2nd. By 1980, Japan had taken top spot and wasn’t looking back. By 1990, South Korea was just arriving on the scene of top car producers. By 2000, the US had gotten their lead back. Then China started making moves. By 2010, China was way ahead of Japan (2nd) and the US (3rd). 

Colorado gets it

Small things 21 Jul

• My granddaughter paid for our restaurant meal recently. With her dad’s card.
• They should do a show where couples try to cook a meal missing an important ingredient one of them was supposed to buy earlier.
• The official KFC twitter account has 1.6 million followers, but it follows just a few people. 6 of them are random guys named Herb, and also the 5 Spice Girls. Let that sink in. 11 Herbs and Spice Girls.
• Tell your kids you used to have to go to a phone booth to take a selfie.
• When you go into the store without a bag because “I’m only getting one thing.” LOL
• How do you greet German rye? Gluten tag.
• When you bite into a burger and everything comes out the other side. That’s just food trying to escape.
• It’s not truly furniture until the pets have been on it.
• She had a horse. She called him mayo. Sometimes mayo neighs.
• Not having to wash a measuring cup because you only measured water.
• Stomach: [makes slight growl]  Grandma: “Empty the pantry, preheat the oven, and fire up the stove!”
• When you pause the show to see if that weird noise you’re hearing is part of the show.
• If you see a therapist as an adult, tell your parents they really should pay for it. If they ask why, just say, “You break it, you buy it…”
• You can’t plant flowers if you haven’t botany.
• High school grad: I’d kill for free tuition.  Military recruiter: Really?

"I drew a picture of my imaginary friend!"

 

When your daughter draws you a picture of her imaginary friend.

Emotional feedback on timeless wavelength

Quite possibly my favourite song lyrics of all time:

The spirit of radio by Rush

Begin the day

With a friendly voice

A companion, unobtrusive

Plays the song that’s so elusive

And the magic music makes your morning mood

Off on your way

Hit the open road

There is magic at your fingers

For the Spirit ever lingers

Undemanding contact

In your happy solitude.

Invisible airwaves

Crackle with life

Bright antennae bristle

With the energy

Emotional feedback

On a timeless wavelength

Bearing a gift beyond price

Almost free…

All this machinery

Making modern music

Can still be open-hearted

Not so coldly charted

It’s really just a question

Of your honesty

One likes to believe

In the freedom of music

But glittering prizes

And endless compromises

Shatter the illusion

Of integrity

“For the words of the profits,

Are written on the studio wall,

Concert hall

Echoes with the sounds…

Of salesmen.” [repeated]

Legend has it that Neil Peart wrote this song as a tribute to Toronto radio station 102.1 CFNY. It was a ground-breaking station that often introduced new artists that the corporate stations ignored. The station’s tag line was “The spirit of radio.” CFNY resisted turning their programming into a formulaic game show like most other stations had.

Cookin' the noods

 

CEO salary (a poll)

I ask my readers a simple question: What do you feel is suitable, appropriate pay for the CEO of a company. To keep things simple, imagine a multinational corporation with tens of thousands of workers. There is no right or wrong answer. You don’t even need to justify your answer. You can express your offering in the form of dollars, or a multiplication factor of the average salary of workers in the company.

For points of reference, I give you the following annual salaries (figures are approximate):

CBC CEO - $500,000 (6.25 X $80,000 average)

WestJet CEO - $3.4 million (35 X $97,500 average)

Suncor Energy CEO - $15.6 million (120 X $129,500 average)

CPKC CEO - $20 million (222 X $90,000 for train conductor)

Magna International CEO - $28 million (316 X $88,500 average)

Discovery / Warner CEO - $246 million (1,906 X $129,000 average)

Oak Street Health CEO - $568 million (2,890 X $196,500 average)

Timburgers

 

The first Tim Horton restaurant was located in North Bay, Ontario and sold hamburgers.

Things I learned lately 21 Jul

• Phoenix lately: High 46.5C. Low 35C.
• Seeding storm clouds with silver iodide particles actually increases hailstone formation, which in turn increases quantity while it reduces their size and consequently, the damage created by them.
• The area of total burnt forest in Canada this year so far is bigger than the country of Portugal. 
• Whole Foods, which is owned by Amazon, will soon be allowing customers to pay for their purchases using a new type of biometric - your palm. Once registered, you would simply wave your palm over the reader as a means of identifying yourself and paying. “Pay with Palm”
• Pelinti: From the Buli language (spoken in Ghana). You know that thing you do where you unwittingly bite into something piping hot, and as it burns your mouth, you start pushing it around in hopes of getting it to cool down? That's what pelinti describes. More specifically, it means “to move hot food around in your mouth.”
• The average new car price in Canada is over $66,000.
• Henry Kissinger is 100 years old.
• When Coco Chanel developed an accidental suntan in 1923, many suggest it was the moment that sunbathing became a cultural phenomenon. Porcelain-skinned women were everywhere, because a tan had been associated with the working class that spent most of their days working outside and exposed to the sun. In many parts of the world, fair skin had long been an indication of one’s social status. Slowly, more skin was on display in modern western civilization. Hemlines got higher, sleeves got shorter, bonnets and parasols ditched. The rich were also playing more sports and spending more leisurely time at the seashore while on the other end of the spectrum, labourers were moving inside to factories and losing their tan. Until recently, even Chinese women preferred to stay as white as possible. The first sun tan oil "Huile de Chaldee" appeared in 1927.

Small things 14 Jul

• Don’t let the ants get into the antacid. They’ll be trippin’ balls.
• When you call ‘shotgun’ but the kidnapper still puts you in the trunk.
• The person in charge of HR at my work who is the one who escorts you out of the building when you’re terminated drives a big black Escalade. People call it ‘The Hearse’.
• Why doesn’t shampoo maker Head and Shoulders have a body wash called Knees and Toes?
• ZIP drives. The AMC Gremlin of data storage. Oh, you’ve never heard of a Gremlin? That’s kinda my point.
• You don’t realize how hard you chew until you bite your tongue.
• “Sci-Bi” - You like both Star Trek AND Star Wars.
• Remember the 90s? When bread was still good for you and nobody knew what kale was?
• Maybe I misunderstood, but human beings doing the hard jobs for minimum wage while robots write poetry and paint isn’t the future I was expecting.
• “It was the best of times. It was the worst of times.” Are we positive Schrodinger didn’t write that?
• Having a little nap on the couch before going to bed for the night: a snors d'oeuvre.
• Am I to understand that a butcher knife is way more butch than other knives? No, it’s called a butcher knife because it’s wielded by a butcher. What makes the butcher so butch? The knife.
• Sometimes you send an email hoping they don’t respond for a few days.
• I have the body type where if you were to offer me a cookie and I said “No thanks, I’m trying to cut down,” you’d give me that look, like “Sure you are.”
• This is how you win an argument: “How dull for you to live your life without any hills to die on, you, on your vast flat barren plains of compromise, acceptance, and accommodation, while I reign supreme over the lush, rolling highlands of stupid shit I have irrationally chosen to stake my entire identity on.”
• It’s not written ‘in’ stone, it’s written ‘on’ stone.
• Laziness is such an ugly word. I prefer selective participation.
• You think about the silent movie era, thinking about how silly the word "talkie" is, and then you’re forced to consider, for the first time, the word "movie".

When you sell something, check your reflection

 

“It made us afraid”

Powerful video from school board president about homophobia.

This is why my colleague Jordan doesn’t get invited to meetings on Fridays

 

Artists that debuted in 1976

Triumph

Wild Cherry

Tom Petty & the Heartbreakers

Alan Parsons Project

Boney M

The Runaways

The Ramones

Pat Travers

Sammy Hagar

Max Webster

Brothers Johnson

Greg Kihn

Firefall

David Soul

Johnny Cougar (John Mellencamp)

Stephen Bishop

Boston

Blondie

Billy Ocean

The Babys

Air Supply

Excuse me sir...

 

Things I learned lately 14 Jul

• Death Valley California’s forecast for Sunday is 54.4C
• The Calgary Stampede broke a world record on July 9th, serving 17,182 five inch pancakes in an 8 hour period.
• Mercedes has just joined with Volvo, Polestar, Rivian, GM, and Ford to adopt Tesla’s North American Charging Standard (NACS) port, which means that by 2025, they should all be compatible with Tesla’s Superchargers.
  
  
  
• Burger King Thailand has just released a sandwich with 20 slices of American cheese on a bun.
• A few cities in the US are getting rid of bus fares, on some or all routes, either permanently, or as a trial. These include Denver, Boston, New York, Kansas City; Raleigh; Richmond; Olympia; Tucson; and Alexandria. This will help with stop duration and help low income earners. The hope is to lure more people out of their cars too.
• There are no intercity roads in Greenland. All roads in a town or city end at the city limits because of the harsh terrain.
• There are more boats than cars in Greenland.
• The reason Africa in general doesn’t have a huge international naval trade presence is due in large part to its lack of large ports. This is due to Africa’s unique coastal geography, in that it has very shallow coastlines and very few protected inlets suitable for ports. It also has few large rivers that penetrate the deep interior suitable for ocean-going ships.
• Treppenwitz: Someone says something to you, and you are so overwhelmed by the comment that it leaves you speechless, You can't come up with a snappy comeback on the spot. Once you've left the situation, the perfect response suddenly pops into your head. Referred to as Treppenwitz in German, which literally means staircase joke, because, what do you know, the witty retort usually hits you in the stairwell on your way out.

Small things 7 Jul

• Never order the pasta and antipasta at the same time. Could be explosive.
• The best English word is pizzazz. It has 4 z’s and also the word pizza in it.
• Are we the only weird family who pre-clean the house before the professional cleaners arrive?
• Some people have only 2 speeds of email reply. 12 seconds and 12 days.
• You know what else is ‘all natural’? Lava. Sulfuric acid. A hungry bear.
• She took the last bus home. Now there are no buses. Except for the one at her home.
• When your emotional support dog eats all your comfort food.
• So, bears made some porridge and the only thing wrong with it was the temperature?
• Why hasn’t someone invented a window air conditioner that runs off of solar panels mounted nearby? We have the technology…
• Yes, yes. Vinyl may be tangible. It may have a ‘warm’, organic sound compared to digital music. You might feel nostalgic owning a turntable. But I can listen to my music while I’m walking and driving. Also, my music collection wouldn’t fit in my house if it had to take vinyl form. Long live the cloud.
• DAVID ATTENBOROUGH: sadly, this male's efforts to prepare a nest for mating are all in vain [man crying on top of a half-put on fitted sheet]
• Doing brain laundry (separating my thoughts into lights and darks).  Update: left one dark thought in the lights, ruined the whole load.
• Auto-correct:

“I should of made a left a couple blocks back…”

“Should HAVE made a left Dave, should HAVE made.” 

Steely Dan by Nada Hayek

 

Artists that debuted in 1975

The Tubes

Trooper

Ted Nugent

Sweeney Todd

Pablo Cruise

Gloria Gaynor

Split Enz

The Manhattan Transfer

The Captain & Tennille

Little River Band

Kate & Anna McGarrigle

Journey

Natalie Cole

Patti Smith

AC/DC

Heart

Eric Carmen

Crystal Gayle

Diverging Diamond Interchanges are amazing

Diverging Diamond Interchanges allow about 2x the traffic flow.

DDIs also reduce traffic signal phases and allow motorists to enter a freeway without ever crossing oncoming traffic.

AB government cap on RRO was a scam

As you probably know, when you pay for natural gas or electricity, you either pay the market rate, or you pay a fixed rate according to a contract. When you are paying the market rate, you run the risk of highs but also benefit from low prices. whereas if you are on a fixed contract, the price you pay never changes until the contract is over. In Alberta, the market rate for electricity is known as the RRO, Or regulated rate option. The name is a bit misleading, because although it is regulated, it is not fixed. In 2022, depending on who you get your electricity from, you were paying anywhere from 10 cents per kilowatt hour all the way up to 24 cents per kilowatt hour. 

In 2023, the government of Alberta decided to do a huge favor for the people on the regulated rate option, by capping the rate at 13 and 1/2 cents per kilowatt hour for 3 months. There was much rejoicing. Unfortunately, the government left out a major caveat. People on the RRO Weren't actually getting a break at all. During the 3-month cap, the market price of electricity went as high as 33 cents per kilowatt hour. What a deal we were getting, except for one major detail. The actual market costs over and above the cap were being deferred, and will be paid back July to December 2023 and all of 2024. 

In other words, all the money that RRO customers saved, was just pushed off to another day. It gets worse. All the people who are not on a fixed plan have to pay that difference back. The continued high price of electricity (in July 2023, it’s estimated to be 28 cents per kilowatt hour) is scaring a lot of people into fixed cost plans. Although this is good for the people who can get accepted onto a plan, there are a lot of people who can't, because it requires a good credit rating among other things. So there are people on the regulated rate who are stuck there and they have to suck up the difference created by all of the people who are escaping to fixed rate plans. That's right, every person who leaves the RRO plan is leaving their share of the debt created by the cap for the rest who can't leave. 

So the next time you hear the Alberta Government bragging that it only has the best interests of its residents at heart, remember that while they are encouraging people to get onto a fixed cost plan, they are literally leaving those who can't afford to do so in the lurch. 

The ice cream pros

 

Things I learned lately 7 Jul

• You used to be able to read tweets without having an account. Not anymore…
• Apparently, ChatGPT inadvertently showed off its ability to get around content paywalls, so the folks at openAI disconnected it from the internet to sort that out. I have heard that there are browser extensions with the same ability. And all this time I’ve been paying for NYT articles….
• Just for fun, I tried to tentatively book a hotel room in Calgary (it’s Stampede week) for 10-12 July on Hyatt’s website. The hotel downtown is sold out. I could have got a room at the airport Hyatt Place for $405 per night.
• India uses internet blackouts to try and control unrest in its country. Some parts of the country have seen blackouts lasting 5 months.
• Motorola started in Chicago, Illinois, as Galvin Manufacturing Corporation in 1928. Paul Galvin wanted a brand name for Galvin Manufacturing Corporation's new car radio, and created the name “Motorola” by linking "motor" with "ola" (from Victrola), which was also a popular ending for many companies at the time, e.g. Moviola, Crayola. The company sold its first Motorola branded radio on June 23, 1930. The Motorola brand name became so well known that Galvin Manufacturing Corporation later changed its name to Motorola, Inc. in 1947.
• Ewan McGregor’s brother, Colin, is a pilot in the Royal Air Force and his aviator nickname is “Obi-Two.”