Small things 9 Feb

• Dear servers/hostesses: Stop asking us how our day is going on the way to the table. Maybe I'll ask you how minimum wage is going.
• You can't tell a knock knock joke to a dog. They hear knock knock and all they do is bark like crazy.
• You don't so much land an aircraft as much as you perform a very controlled loss of speed and altitude.
• Randomized clinical trials, aka placebo drug tests, or as I like to call them, "trick or treatment".
• If cats could text back, they wouldn't.
• Wikipedia Peter Freuchen. Just do it.
• If you're having an animated discussion or argument on your phone in public, at least put it on speaker so we can hear both sides of the discussion and take a side.
• I moue in your general direction.