- It just dawned on me how many of the gifts in 12 days of Christmas are birds. 6 out of the first 7, your true love gives you birds. 23 in total. On day 5 you're thinking, "Golden rings! We're finally done with the birds!" Psyche! Six geese.
- Don't ever let your printer know that you've waited until the last minute to print something and you're in a hurry. They can sense fear.
- You might think this is crazy, but try making a peanut butter sandwich with whole grain bread.
- Doctors could never go on strike because you'd never be able to make out what's written on their signs.
- Oh fiery orb in the heavens. Thou hast graced us with your fiery presence. We deserveth thou not. But we are grateful.... In thy mercy.
- Why isn't Miss Universe called Miss Earth? Are there aliens competing?
- How we developed hand eye coordination before video games: carry an ice cube tray full of liquid water and place it in the freezer without spilling anything.
- Superman to Batman: Your worst enemy is a clown! Batman: Yours is a rock.
- It is quite possible that the only reason there are still pyramids in Egypt is because they're too heavy to be moved to the British Museum.
- Don't blame society. You are society.
- If cats could talk, they still wouldn't.
- What would happen if you put powdered milk in milk? Would it be even milkier?
- Q. If there's a 'heavens no' and a 'hell yes', how does purgatory fit in? A. Purghaps.
This is an exhibition - not a competition. Please...no wagering.
Thursday, December 30, 2021
Small things 30 December
China what?
I drove past this Chinese Food place in YYC and I wish I could read Chinese, so I could see if those characters actually say 'China Taste'.
Also, with the current state of Chinese food restaurant naming language, they had a pallet of the usual words: golden, silver, dragon, garden, palace, panda, wok, Peking, etc., The best they could come up with was China Taste?
Things I learned lately 30 December
- The city of Flint, Michigan has sold its former Police Training Academy to the Evergrow LLC cannabis company. It will convert the site into an indoor marijuana growing facility.
- There's a Czech junior hockey player whose name is Ivan Ivan.
- In Germany there are over 500,000 vending machines offering sausages and sometimes much more. This is partly due to rural stores closing early.
- It is said that the tipping point on price for when EVs would begin mass adoption is $36,000 with a minimum range of 469km (291mi).
- Patty Boyd, Marianne Faithful and Brian Jones did backing vocals on Yellow Submarine.
- Javier Bardem's performance as Anton Chigurh in 'No Country for Old Men' was named the 'Most Realistic Depiction of a Psychopath' by an independent group of psychologists in the 'Journal of Forensic Sciences'.
- None of the songs from the Beatle's album Revolver were ever performed live.
- Over 100 buildings in downtown Toronto are cooled using very cold water from the bottom of Lake Ontario. It saves enough electricity to power 25,000 homes.
- In Australia they made all payphones free. The cost of collecting the cash was higher than the revenue they were making, so they save money by giving away free calls.
- In 1957, Polish-Jewish immigrant Sam Tick founded Metro Sportswear Ltd. in a small warehouse. Metro made woollen vests, raincoats, snowmobile suits, and other functional outerwear before creating down-filled jackets in the early 1970s. Metro mainly focused on manufacturing custom down-filled coats and heavy-duty parkas for the Canadian Rangers, city police departments, the Ontario Provincial Police, municipal workers, the Ministry of Environment, and the Ministry of Correctional Services. In 1985, the company began to produce apparel under its own "Snow Goose" brand. In the early 1990s, Metro began selling its products in Europe, where the Snow Goose name was already in use, so Metro sold its European products under the name Canada Goose.
- The seeds of an apple are a genetic mix of its parents, so the fruit they grow will be a random genetic mixture of the tree it grew on and whichever other apple tree pollinated it. If you want the exact same apple, you have to cut a branch off the existing apple tree and graft in onto another tree.
Saturday, December 25, 2021
Small things 25 December
In England, booster shot is spelled borchestershire shot.- If you cut Mr Potato Head in half, have you decap-potatoed him?
- In the top bunk of a bunk bed, it is obligatory to touch the ceiling with your feet.
- Something the youth of today will never experience: Slamming the receiver to hang up the phone loudly / violently.
- Imagine a solar powered clothes dryer. Or as you might know it - the clothesline.
- "We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public." ~Keith Johnstone
- Does sliced bread have an inferiority complex now that there are so many things better than it?
- There was a time when finding a quarter on the ground was a big deal.
- A cotton candy farmer would not be happy about rain.
- My ducks are not in a row. My ducks are purposefully disorderly.
- If studying history always makes you feel proud, you probably aren't studying history.
- Ears are smoke detector detectors.
Guess what these percentages represent
Anyone want to take a guess what these percentages represent?
[Don't look down yet]
It's how much of each city is green space
She persevered thankfully
Do you appreciate the vaccines we're employing against Covid? You have Katalin Kariko, a biochemist who escaped communist Hungary in 1985 and fought an endless uphill battle against a misogynistic industry, even in the US.
But once she had enough and went to a start-up named BioNTech, she helped put the mRNA vaccine in the spotlight.
Things I learned lately 25 December
- Centuries ago, it was common to tell ghost stories on Christmas Eve, a tradition rekindled by the Christmas Carol book by Charles Dickens.
- Nobody knows for sure which came first, the gingerbread house or the Grimm fairy tale Hansel and Gretel.
- Someone in Calgary rode a Bird e-scooter for 58km this year, one trip, with stops along the way. YYC also had the highest total number of trips taken on Bird Canada scooters in 2021, with 1,323,394 kilometres. Bird is one of 2 scooter companies operating in YYC.
- Elon Musk is an advocate for the removal of ALL government subsidies, including oil and gas. He believes that every business currently getting subsidies should be able to survive without them. He noted that Tesla never asked for credits for buyers of EVs, it was GM.
- Tesla has made 2/3 of all the American EVs on the road today.
- 40% of a dog's brain goes entirely to their sense of smell. They have a completely different organ that is designed purely to take in the smell, separately from the oxygen they breathe. A cancer alert dog kept marking to one mole on a woman's arm. They had already tested it and it was negative. They decided to retest due to the dog's behavior, and found an incredibly small fraction of a cancer cell in the spot.
- For over 300 years Europeans could not grow vanilla seeds since bringing it from South America. In 1836 it was finally discovered that a bee from Mexico was the only capable pollinator of the vanilla orchid.
- Mexico has now banned animal testing for cosmetic products, becoming the first country in North America to enact the law. Globally, the country is the 41st country to implement such a ban, which also outlaws the manufacturing, importing and marketing of cosmetics that have been tested on animals elsewhere in the world.
Friday, December 17, 2021
Small things 18 December
- Ready for some precedented times.
- Alberta: Bloc Rednecois
- I suggested to friends [jokingly] that Canada now needs to abolish the nickel coin and establish a $5 coin. We'll call it the 'finney' to go with the loonie and toonie. It has a nice ring to it. "I'm in for a finney."
- Dad: Son, back in my day, there were no online updates. If a video game sucked in any way, it sucked forever.
- If the crown in your tooth sets off the airport security detector, does that mean you're getting a cavity search?
- With all the new planets being discovered outside our solar system, they should be stumbling across Tattooine any day now...
- Random chance is a critical component of life.
- If your boss says that you intimidate people, just stare at them until they apologize.
- The worst mistake anyone can make is being too afraid to make one.
- Don't let anyone ruin your day. Be the better person. Ruin it yourself.
- What kids must think when they're dropped off at day care the very first time. Am I being abandoned? What are all these other kids doing here? Are they abandoned too?
- Glass coffins. Would they be popular? Remains to be seen......
- The sole purpose of a child's middle name, is so they know when they're in deep trouble.
- If you ever fall over in public, just pick yourself up and say "sorry, it's been a while since I inhabited a body." And just walk away.
- When you go to the playground, stay off the mood swings.
"I'll light the fire"
If you're a Crave subscriber and fan of 1960s and 70s music, you should check out the two part documentary "Laurel Canyon". It shows the connections between the biggest artists of the time, including The Byrds, Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young, Joni Mitchell, and so many more.
It's quite the story.
Things I learned lately 18 December
- One supposedly fun thing to do in Victorian Christmases: Play the parlor game Snapdragon. As described in Atlas Obscura, this holiday game involved setting a bowl of brandy-soaked raisins on fire. Competitors then tried to grab the flaming raisins and pop them in their mouths.
- A company that owns one of the ski resorts in the Banff area is applying to build a rail service between Banff, Calgary (downtown) and the airport.
- Reindeer are the only mammal to change eye colour to adjust the amount of light that enters the eyes in different seasons. They have golden eyes in summer and blue in winter.
- Barn owls on California vineyards are now being used as a more ecofriendly option instead of using rodenticides. 80% of vineyards say they now use owl boxes in an attempt to control rodents, especially gophers.
- Chile is creating the world's first constitution to be drafted by an equal number of women and men.
- The drug sildenafil was first prescribed to treat high blood pressure. A side effect emerged in that it caused erections in the men who were taking it to treat their high blood pressure. Under the brand name Viagra, it became a sensation for treating erectile dysfunction. And now it may be the newest weapon in the battle against Alzheimer's disease.
- Berlin is soon to become home to something truly unique. Jews, Christians, and Muslims are planning to build a house of worship here – one that brings a synagogue, a church, and a mosque together under one roof. The three separate sections will be linked by a communal room in the center of the building. This will serve as a meeting place, where worshippers and members of the public can come together and learn more about the religions and each other.
- The city of Leicester is installing a network of bee bus stops, 30 bus stops that are topped with a mix of wildflowers to encourage pollination.
- In 1979 at 16 years of age, Jadav Payeng started planting a tree sapling a day in his region in India. He did this for 40 years, creating a forest larger than Central Park, that is now inhabited by a lot of wildlife.
- Chinese officials announced that the giant panda, whose wild population has almost doubled after 30 years of government-led recovery efforts, are no longer endangered.
- The new law passed by the Norwegian government requires influencers sponsored for social media posts and brands to disclose any modification on their photos using a ministry-approved label. Essentially, you'll now be told any time an image has been edited.
- Portugal has passed new labour laws which include a ban on bosses contacting employees outside of working hours.
Saturday, December 11, 2021
CHOM theme
I grew up around Montreal, so naturally, I listened to a radio station, CHOM-FM, 97.7
In the 70s, they began playing this musical interlude between some sets of music. We thought it was clever.
Turns out, it's from a western soundtrack. The movie is called "Duck, you sucker!" They're not even saying "CHOM", but you could have fooled us.
So, this will be good memories for anyone who grew up with 1970s CHOM-FM.
Small things 11 December
- Not to worry, coal mining will never die out completely. Santa needs something to give to all the bad kids.
- Pro Xmas tip: Sneak a quick Google search for what you want on their computer and then sit back while they get countless Facebook ads for that thing.
- Best Covid-era emotional support animal - skunk. Nobody will come near you.
- Dear groups of 2 or more people at the mall: It's ok to stop and chat. Just please take it over to one side. Do you stop your car in the middle of the highway to chat?
- Why when people ask "Are you all ready for Christmas?" and I answer "Yes!" do they get all shocked like that's not even possible?
- The thing I hate most about wearing a mask is that my phone no longer recognizes my face.
- People will season their food the way they like it. Some of us don't like ketchup on our eggs. OK? Mom?
- If Cinderella's shoe fit so perfectly, why did it fall off in the first place?
- Schrödinger's Douchebag: A guy who says offensive things and decides whether he was joking based on the reaction of people around him.
- There are only two kinds of fish acceptable to subject your coworkers to at work. Goldfish crackers and Swedish fish candy.
- Herblock's Law: If it's good, they'll stop making it.
- Zoom / Teams has conditioned workers to think they can just ditch a meeting they don't like. Or go make coffee. Or go take a bath.
- I picture kids who were home schooled for at least one year going back to regular school and always saying, "But my mom said...."
Office party gift: $15. Real value: crypto currency expensive
I had to buy a $20 or less gift for a work Christmas party and found something perfect at Canadian Tire. But it was locked up behind glass. I had to find a staffer to open the cabinet (2 locks!). Also, they wouldn't just let me take it, they had to personally bring it to the cashier.
So, whoever gets my gift, it may have cost me less than $20 to buy, but that shit is priceless!
(I would have posted a pic of the thing, but then, you know, people would know who bought it)
Things I learned lately 11 December
The past weeks of excess rainfall and flooding, resulting in flooded farms, homes and washed out highways, may be the costliest natural disaster in Canadian history.- Crimbo is British slang for Christmas.
- Cats cannot project into the future because their frontal lobes are not developed. Cats can't make long-term plans. Some people think that when they leave the house, and their cat does something nasty, it's so the person has a nasty experience. Cats do not have the ability to plan ahead in this way.
- Churchill Manitoba, on the shores of Hudsons Bay, has no road access from the rest of the province. Everything has to come in by rail or plane.
- There are no chain stores, restaurants or hotels in Churchill, MB. Every retail store is a local business.
- In an experiment in Estonia, instead of getting a speeding ticket, drivers who are caught exceeding the limit have to stop and wait for a 'time out' to pass before they can continue their journey.
- The oldest doors still in use in Rome, can be found at the Pantheon. Cast in bronze for Emperor Hadrian's rebuilding, it dates from about 115 AD. Each door is solid bronze, measures 2.3 m wide and 7.5 m high (not feet, metres!), yet so well balanced they can be pushed or pulled open easily by one person.
- Vilnius has put up a statue that offers a “portal” to the polish city of Lublin, allowing people to see each other in real time.
- Tesco in Slovakia opened with empty shelves. They wanted to show their customers how it would look like if all bees and butterflies would become extinct.
- In Wroclaw, Poland each cathedral and even the rivers have a tactile model nearby for blind people to see them too.
- 20 years ago, the Mayor of Amsterdam married 4 gay couples as the Netherlands became the first country in the world to legalise same-sex marriage.
Friday, December 03, 2021
Small things 3 December
- Do you ever un-tag yourself in someone's photo of you that they shared on Facebook, as a subtle indication that you're not cool with them sharing a photo of you?
- Imagine if they looked inside the Statue of Liberty and discovered skeletons of French soldiers inside because it turned out to be a failed French trojan mission.....
- I only get sick on weekdays. It must be my weekend immune system.
- There was a time when if a man could get two doctors to agree that a woman was insane, they would lock her up in an asylum for the rest of her days. In a reversed gender way, this could be great for rapists.
- A copyright means you can be inspired by a work, but you can't copy it. Does that even make sense?
- The feathers in a duvet will always shift away from the person who feels coldest in bed.
- The reason why collaboration and cooperation are so important is because NOBODY knows everything.
- If you think fertilized eggs are people but refugee kids aren't, please stop pretending that your concerns are religious.
- If an object that would be other than black in the light seems black in the dark, it's black. Colour is defined by light. Colours are an illusion.
- My first flight in an airliner was to go to military basic training in Cornwallis, Nova Scotia.
- Nothing is original.
"OK. It's minus fourty. Celcius and Fahrenheit."
I love this guy's response to the naysayers who feel electric cars wouldn't do well in arctic conditions.
Straight to the point. Unplug, get into a nice warm car, and go.
EV pros and cons
The pros and cons of owning an all-electric vehicle
Cons
They're pricey
You have to plan your long trips to take recharging stops into account
The battery doesn't last forever and will slowly lose capacity (but technology changing very rapidly)
Charging facilities not as ubiquitous as gasoline stations (but improving every year)
Even fast charging not quite as fast as gassing up
Extreme cold weather has effect on range (up to 40%; but can be mitigated by pre-heat)
Batteries are heavy and make up for large percentage of cost
Less selection of vehicles
Less selection of repair facilities
Tires wear faster due to extra weight and torque
The more you use your HVAC the less range you have
Pros
No gasoline smell, spills, price fluctuations
Cost of operation much lower
No ICE components to wear out (engine, oil, transmission and fluid, filters, fuel system, exhaust, air flow, spark plugs, coolant system)
Less maintenance
Can recharge at home
Lower electricity rate at night (locale dependent), grid can handle recharge overnight
Ever increasing charging network, some even brand dedicated (Tesla)
Can pre-heat or pre-cool interior while still plugged in
Less brake wear due to regenerative braking
Fast, fun to drive (some models more than others)
Better handling from lower centre of gravity
More advanced self-driving technology (some brands/models), therefore safer and less stressful
No need to warm up engine in winter
No emissions from vehicle
Emissions from power plant tend to be lower, safer, energy generation at scale more efficient
Less likely to catch fire in accident
P.S.: My friend Adam and I will be talking about this very subject in episode 3 of our new podcast in a few weeks. Yeah, we have a podcast. It's on YouTube. It's called Talkbots. Rated PG.
Things I learned lately 3 December
- Omicron is a Greek letter.
- The entire Canadian House of Commons voted to pass the bill banning conversion therapy. All parties. Unanimous. Bravo.
- Keanu Reeves has done 68 movies in his 35 year career so far.
- Container ships sometimes have to drop anchor just offshore for a longer period than it took to cross the ocean, waiting for a berth at a west coast port.
- It costs about $1000 to ship a 20 foot container across the ocean from Asia to North America. An average sized container ship can carry 13,000 containers.
- If you watch a lot of old cartoons, you would notice a lot of the main characters are always wearing neckties or neck collars that are always covering their necks and disconnecting their head from their body. That is by design. In the 1960s the iconic duo Hanna-Barbera were cranking out 6 hours of cartoon television every single week to over 300 million viewers around the globe. But the studio's budget kept shrinking, which threatened the entire hand-drawn animation industry. In a stroke of genius, they came up with a new technique that reduced the animation effort by 7000%. By giving characters something to wear around their necks, it meant that animators could keep the same body position and only animate the head while it was moving and talking, which not only meant that the frames required for a 7 min cartoon were reduced from 14000 to 2000, but this move is credited with saving the animation industry.
- In Italy bars are starting to use pasta as straws to reduce plastic use.
- Adjectives in English have to be in this order: opinion-size-age-shape-colour-origin-material-purpose-Noun. So you can have a lovely little old rectangular green French silver whittling knife. But if you mess with that word order, in the slightest, you'll sound like a maniac. This is why green great dragons can't exist.
- The inventor of the Murphy Bed, William Lawrence Murphy (1856-1957), created his first hide-away bed as means to convert his one-room apartment into a parlour, specifically to host the company of his future wife. It was considered inappropriate at the time to for a woman to enter a man's bedroom.
- The government knows exactly how much salary you got paid in a calendar year, unless you worked under the table. They could very easily just figure out what you paid in tax and decide whether you owe or not. If you have deductions they don't know about, you send in an amendment. This is done in other parts of the world.
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