Small things 27 Sep (the last one)

• Quick question. Did they revive the gong show or something in the US? It is a literal gong show down there right now.
• When one door closes and another door opens, you may be in a prison.
• To some folks, "drink responsibly" means “don't spill it while driving”.
• When I say, "The other day," I could be referring to any time between yesterday and 15 years ago.
• I run like the winded.
• I don't mean to interrupt people. I just randomly remember things and get really excited.
• Don't bother walking a mile in my shoes - that would be boring. Spend 30 seconds in my head. That'll freak you right out.
• Here’s a radical idea: Make gun insurance mandatory for gun owners. Something bad happens with your gun? Insurance deals with it. That’ll transform some gun policy real fast. Caught going around with your gun without proof of insurance? Bye bye gun.
• Running is alright I guess, until you compare it to not running.
• A fear of over-engineered building sites: A complex complex complex.
• Ever notice that drug commercials on TV can’t tell you what the drug is actually for? They just say “Ask your doctor…”
• The loudest word ever shouted is probably ‘quiet’.
• No! No! The ‘Life is short, lick the bowl’ sign belongs in the kitchen, not the bathroom.
• You seem a little out of whack. Would you like me to order you some whack?
• We were drinking coffee at a restaurant that is known to have strong coffee. My wife said, “It’s bitter.” and I was like, “No, I think it’s not bitter, it’s just strong.” She asked what the difference was and I said, realizing that I didn’t have the words, “Bitter is bitter.” and after a very dramatic delay, “Strong is strong.”
• A "curated playlist" is just a random AI shuffle, but a mixtape is a labour of love.
• I will respect those who insist on everyone carrying a fetus through to birth when they continue to care about the child’s needs AFTER they are born.
• It’s estimated that Drake’s Passage (around the tip of South America) is home to over 800 shipwrecks and claimed the lives of around 20,000 sailors.

There once was a man

from Cork, who got limericks

and haiku confused