Small things 12 Apr

• If you ever think that hate doesn't make you age poorly, remember that Will Wheaton is two years older than Alex Jones.
• What are the strongest days of the week? Saturday and Sunday. Because all the rest... they're weekdays.
• What do you call a woman on the arm of a banjo player? A tattoo.
• In France, an egg is an oeuf. So they just have one.
• What did the shy pebble wish for? That she was a little boulder.
• David lost his ID in Paris. Now we call him Dav.
• What do you call a pencil without lead? Pointless.
• What’s fun about my job: I know a few things about Excel. Everyone at work thinks I’m an Excel guru and calls me for help with Excel. They are truly disappointed when I can’t solve their problem.
• You know you belong to the instant gratification culture when you lose patience with a phone reboot. Or a computer reboot.
• Why do gorillas have big nostrils? They have big fingers.
• Which side of the chicken has more feathers? The outside.
• What did one eye say to the other eye? Between you and me, something smells.
• Oxygen and Magnesium are totally going out. Like, OMg.
• Did you hear about the two antennas that got married? The ceremony kinda sucked but the reception was awesome.