Small things 29 Mar

• You can't outrun your problems, but you can jog in front of them and pretend you can't hear them because you have your headphones on.
• Hearing Republicans say, “Look, massacres of kids are very sad but we just can't limit people's basic freedoms to own guns.” is weird if you're a trans person who's been listening to a years-long debate about whether you need to be banned from a public bathroom to keep children safe.
• Airports go on and on about not leaving your luggage alone for a second over the PA, but they won’t tell you that your gate has changed unless you’re sitting in a precise group of seats.
• We don’t want to be that couple who announces at a party “Well, we’ve got to head out.” to break the seal and set the stage for the other people to do the same. So we just sneak out.
• Outlook lets you schedule an email to be sent in the future. So write, “I’m taking off early”, schedule it for one hour before the workday ends, and leave at noon.
• I’ve been invited to a Teams meeting, but the only other attendees are HR and my boss….
• Some people like their coffee so strong that it would show up on a drug test.
• Life is not one damned thing after another. They overlap.
• How to instantly stop stressing about tasks. Complete them.
• Alchemy. Yes it used to exist, but it still kind of does: “I’d like a chocolate cookie crumble crème frappuccino made with heavy cream, and with 6 pumps of white mocha instead of regular mocha. Oh and whipped cream on top.”

A: If you win the lottery, all I want is a new Tesla.

B: That’s all?

A: Yeah.

B: I think I can manage that.

Later

A: Holy crap! I won the lottery!

B: I’ll take a model Y please.

A: What are you even talking about right now?