1) Kidnappers are not very interested in you
2) In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first, especially if you present ‘symptoms’
3) No one expects you to run…anywhere
4) People call at 9 pm and ask “Did I wake you?”. You get to say “Yes. Yes you did.”
5) Others no longer consider you a hypochondriac
6) There is nothing left to learn the hard way
7) Things you buy now probably won’t wear out before you do
8) You can eat supper at 4 pm. You can even have dessert for supper.
9) You can live without sex, but not your glasses
10) You get into heated discussions about pension plans
11) You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge
12) You quit trying to hold your stomach in no matter who walks into the room
13) You sing along with most of the elevator music
14) Your eyes won't get much worse
15) Your health insurance premiums are really paying off
16) Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the national weather service
17) Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can’t remember them
18) Seniors discounts
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