Small things 23 Jun

• Sarcastic news: A new Canadian law would force social media and search platforms to pay for the 3rd party news stories they display. But these platforms are so close to the brink of financial collapse, they have instead elected to just not carry any Canadian news stories. Meta and Google live to fight another day.
• Have they just given up on inventing new pasta shapes? Can I not look forward to some rhombus pasta someday?
• If I owned a furniture store, I might call it ‘Shack of Sit’.
• The biggest pot in your cupboard. Or as I like to call it, the leftover generator.
• Spiders must be really confused watching soccer. The ball gets kicked into the net, but nobody eats the ball.
• My friend suggested that I’ll regret not buying the highest performance computer I can. OK, so is the Amazon data centre for sale at a good price?
• Have you ever waited so long to decide where to order food from that once you finally called they had closed?
• It’s 1989. Spotify and iTunes don’t exist yet. You just spent $20 on an album and suddenly realize it has one good song on it. Dang it!
• When you have a driving distraction so bad that once it’s over you restart the song that was streaming over again from the beginning.
• Funny drug dealer: “We don’t have Coke, is Pepsi OK?”
• Superheroes saying “The city is saved” after it’s almost completely destroyed.
• Hey kids! Slingshots! You’re welcome.
• If other things had been named like the walkie-talkie: Stabby-grabby (fork); Soupy-scoopy (spoon); Roomy-vroomies (limousine); hearty-starty (defibrillator); starey squareys (computer monitors); Eaty heaty (microwave oven); righty tighty (screwdriver).
• I got a wallet sized birth certificate. It’s for the benefit of people who think I was born yesterday.