Small things 17 Dec

• “We already have Trump trading cards. They’re called subpoenas.” ~Jimmy Kimmel
• How people get what they want for Christmas today: They go on their spouse’s computer and search for the items they want. Then their spouse will see nothing but targeted ads for those things. You’re welcome.
• Somebody actually brought several orders of McDonald's Chicken McNuggets to a work potluck I attended.
• Every cold winter drive is just another challenge to not breathe too heavy and make the windows fog / freeze up on the inside.
• Dad joke: What happens if you eat tinsel? You get tinselitis.
• Twelve days of Christmas song review: 23 birds is too much. No chocolate? No gift cards?
• I think every group chat births a second smaller group chat without the annoying people.
• Dad joke: If you wear cowboy clothes, you are ranch dressing.
• Not to brag or anything, but I can forget what I’m doing while I’m doing it.
• I’m not lazy. I have a high Energy Star rating.
• Imagine trying on a jacket at the store only to realize that it belongs to someone who is trying on new jackets at the store.
• Why is it spelled ‘camouflage’ and not ‘                    ‘?
• My brain: “Don’t worry, I’ll remember…” One minute later. “Remember what?”