Small things 6 May

• When you thought you went mute-fart-unmute but you were already muted, so you actually went unmute-fart-mute, and all they heard was silence, a fart, then silence again.
• Shouldn't toxic people come with a WHMIS safety data sheet so you can be prepared? (You're never going to look at WHMIS/GHS symbols the same way ever again) LOL
• You can only have a 'train of thought' until a certain age. Then you basically start having 'Roombas of thought'. Your thought moves straight ahead, but as soon as it bumps into something, it turns around and moves in a new, random direction.
• "Can't Man." Anxiety is his superpower.
• One time the light turned green and the car in front of me didn't immediately go, but instead of honking I waited two seconds and they went.
• Imagine if people knocked on your door to talk to you about science.
• Remember when you were young and you couldn't go anywhere because you didn't have any gas money? Bet you never saw that coming back later in life, did you?
• It seems like every person who thinks something they bought is on sale gets told that they picked the wrong item or the sale doesn't start until tomorrow. Grocery store checkout drama. Am I right? Also, how about express lanes for people who just want to buy their stuff and leave? No dickering.
• What happens to a house during a full moon? It becomes a werehouse. [Dad joke]
• They put music from the 50s and 60s in medicine ads to appeal to the older generation. In the future, Despacito will play in an ad for laxatives.