- I love when dogs aren't quite committed to a full bark yet, so they just put on their bark face and whisper "boof".
- The average Canadian swallows 7 Timbits in their sleep each year.
- There is no such thing as a 'quick question'.
- If you're going to offer to demo how to turn on someone's hotspot, make sure you prefix this with the word 'wifi'.
- If only the closed mind was teamed with a closed mouth.
- When does a joke become a dad joke? When the punchline is a parent.
- You thought Albert Einstein was a theoretical physicist? Nah, he was a real person.
- Some guys be like, "There's no 'we' in fries...."
Come back to the office!
- Horrible toilet paper
- No pets to cuddle with
- No laundry machines
- Depression cubicle
- Gossip
- 2 monitors!
- You'll eat when we tell you to
- No naps
- Overwhelming scents
- Worst coffee in the world
- No pajamas allowed
- Your excuse to ignore Facebook
- Rush hour
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