Small things 31 July

• 
  Masks are the new bras! They're uncomfortable! You only wear them in public! And when you don't wear them everyone notices!
• 2020. The year our hands are consuming more alcohol than our mouths.
• I used to be afraid whenever I'd hear the buzzing of a bee (I got stung in the ear as a kid). Now I love the sound of a bee. 
• Don't kids wake up in the morning and say to their parents, "The weirdest thing. I fell asleep on the floor last night, but somehow I woke up in my bed."
• Has anyone done this joke at a bar yet: "I'll have a Corona, hold the virus." And did they get thrown out?
• Mask tan lines though........
• Ummm, where are the outspoken gun owners who want to be able to fight government oppression now that Fed riot police are in Portland and Chicago? Huh?! Where?
• Covid dad joke: "It's not a mask. It's a coughy filter."
• Fondant. That's basically just stale frosting, right?
• Who brags about passing a cognitive test?
• I like how some Americans are all, "Why can't you protest peacefully?" There was a time when whites were told they couldn't keep slaves and they started a war.
• If you won't wear a mask due to concerns your brain won't get enough oxygen, sorry but that ship has already sailed....