Small things 13 Mar

• The CEO of Purell must be drooling with anticipation right now.
• Go into a Costco and just sneeze real loud. Now that's attention.
• Betty White is so old, she starred on a 7 season TV series about being old that went off the air before most of you were even born.
• I'm into fitness. Fitness whole donut into my mouth......
• Buy 4 identical cats. When people come over and ask how many cats you have, just say "One, but it's really fast."
• [beginsarcasm] Are tampons expensive to prevent women from hoarding them? [/endsarcasm]
• I think it's interesting that many people feel the need to support declining an invitation to something with a reason or excuse. Especially when the reason or excuse is made up. It's better to just not give a reason.
• Instead of putting ribbons on cars indicating that we support our troops, let's elect governments that support them and take care of veterans.
• If I make breakfast, the correct response is 'thank you', not 'how did you get in my house?'.
• Don't let things happen to you. Go out and happen to things.
• Dumb guy: My friend told me he met two Brazilian girls. I was too embarrassed to ask how many is a brazillion?
• One of the fun things about getting old is intentionally misusing slang words around young adults just to watch them squirm.