Friday, February 07, 2020

Small things 7 Feb


  • I wonder if there will come a time when we start to pee in the sink. If you think about it, you won't waste the amount it takes to flush a toilet, and when you wash your hands, you'll rinse the urine down the drain
  • I think I'll sell my theremin. I haven't touched it in ages.
  • What do you call people who take care of chickens? Chicken tenders......
  • Say what you want about deaf people.
  • I bought the world's worst thesaurus today. Not only was it terrible, but it was also terrible.
  • Guy walks up to the widow at her husbands funeral and says "May I just say one word?" Sure she replies. "Plethora." The widow says "Thanks. That means a lot."

"Why did you leave your last job?"
"Thanks to something my boss said."
"Oh dear. What did they say?"
"You're fired."

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