Small things 18 Jan

• Hey kids! There was a time when you needed two metal keys for a car. One key started the car and the other key unlocked the doors. 
• If North and South Dakota were to merge, what should the new state be called? Megakota. Doublekota. Newkota. Bigkota. Unikota. Solokota. Uberkota. Dakota 2.0. 
• Maybe Jeff Bezos is only getting a divorce because he suddenly realized marriage is a type of union....
• Canadian air traffic controller in Moncton NB and Gander NL decided to treat the controllers in the Long Island (NY) controller center to some pizza during their without-pay as a result of the government shutdown. They bought the gang 32 pizzas one night. That snowballed into more Canadian ATC units sending pizzas to 35 different units in the US as of Sunday morning (the 13th of Jan).
• The difference between men's personal care products and women's personal care products: men get one product that is a shampoo, conditioner, body wash, face wash, lotion, moisturizer, beard balm, toothpaste, sunscreen, lube and engine degreaser.
• Trump could just tell his base: "The wall is built, it's the greatest wall ever, and Mexico paid for it." They would believe him and everyone would be happy.
• Never break up in public. When she starts crying, people might think you just proposed and start clapping.
• Solve for 3x = 1y. x=lefts, y=rights (or vice versa).
• Spiderman would be nothing without skyscrapers.
• Just because you're offended, doesn't mean you're right.