Small things 8 Dec

• Ariana Grande sounds like a font.
• I have 2 questions about America's new planned 'space force'. When will Puerto Rico have electricity? When will Flint have clean water?
• How to take the last donut at work: Hold the donut aloft and announce, "This is the last one. Does anyone want to split it with me?" Touch as much of the donut's surface area as possible before they answer.
• If the multiverse theory is true, then there's a universe where it isn't true. So multiverse theory doesn't cover paradoxical situations. Except in the universe where it does. Ugh. This is why I never studied theoretical physics.
• Never do anything at break-neck speed. Potential consequences are indicated in the phrase.
• What I hate about censorship is that it XXXXXXXX your XXXXXXXX.
• Sick of getting shocked on your carpet? Reverse the polarity by walking backwards.
• Alcohol and irony - getting hammered with screwdrivers.
• Engineering. Like math, with noise.
• Add some excitement to your life. Stop the microwave with one second to go to feel the rush of a bomb defuser technician.....
• The Beatles said "All you need is love". I still get cravings for ice cream...
• What stays in Vegas is mostly your money