Some teachers are just amazingly creative

Teaching tectonic plate activity with candy bars...

Paranoidmail

 

Why I can’t vote for the UCP led by Danielle Smith

[This is but a small sample from a real live list of hundreds of horrible decisions, bad faith politicking, power grabs and funding cuts enacted by the UCP]

Interference in AHS hiring Dr Deena Hinshaw as Public Health and Preventive Medicine Lead with the Indigenous Wellness Core.

Interfering with the CPP even after it became clear that the majority of Albertans do not want an Alberta Pension Plan.

Reinstating the fuel tax even while many people were struggling to make ends meet.

Pausing all green energy projects even while the premier admitted that the grid needs more generation capacity.

Unreasonable tuition increases and education program cuts.

Education tax credit eliminated.

Increased funding to private schools.

Cap lifted on charter school funding.

Unnecessarily spending on privatizing the lab services, jeopardizing careers and making it difficult to get an appointment only to cancel the switch.

Tried to move forward with a new school curriculum that no school board wanted.

Tried to remove breakfast grants.

Threw out a new school curriculum. Created a Conservative panel with no active Alberta teachers on it.

Cutting the daycare subsidy.

Cancellation of 450 Children’s Service grants.

Mask mandates and online school classes are banned.

Deindexing Alberta Works and AISH.

John Howard Society loses all funding. Woods Homes funding cut.

STARS air ambulance funding cut.

CERB recipients cut from all provincial supports.

Funding cuts to museums and heritage sites.

Accusing teachers of ‘indoctrinating’ children.

Energy War Room. Finally cancelled, but should never have started.

Foreign mining companies are allowed to ‘explore’ coal mining.

Oil and gas companies now have a property tax exemption.

Provincial Park fees.

Cut funding to elite wildfire firefighters.

Closed down the rappel wildfire firefighting team.

Bad faith bargaining with doctors.

Bill 10 allows laws to be passed without due process.

Constant battling with Ottawa. Blaming them for literally everything.

Cuts to legal aid. Then cancelling the contract for legal aid.

Ceased Indigenous Land Acknowledgements.

Alberta doesn't recognize National Truth and Reconciliation Day.

Alberta removed provincial indigenous tax exemption cards.

“The unvaccinated are the most discriminated group”.

Threatening to put hospitals under a Catholic healthcare provider whose listed principles include no abortion, no IVF, no contraception, pharmaceutical or otherwise, whose board is primarily made up of former UCP politicians.

Trying to block the Green Line at every turn.

Refusing to increase funding to Calgary’s Green Line.

Trying to blame the Green line cost overruns and now cancellations on Nenshi.

The irony

 

Making the bed

 

Things I learned lately 6 Sep

• Chicagoans have a strong aversion to putting ketchup on their hot dogs. This disdain for ketchup is deeply rooted in the city's food identity and the specific ingredients that characterize a Chicago-style hot dog. The Chicago-style hot dog is a culinary icon, typically consisting of an all-beef frankfurter served in a steamed poppy seed bun, topped with mustard, chopped onions, sweet pickle relish, tomato slices, sport peppers, a dill pickle spear, and celery salt. This combination of toppings reflects the city's diverse immigrant history, with each ingredient representing different cultural influences. Ketchup, with its sweet flavor profile, is seen as an unwelcome addition that disrupts the carefully balanced taste of the hot dog and its toppings. The aversion to ketchup has become a part of Chicago's identity, with even notable figures like Barack Obama commenting that ketchup should not be used on hot dogs past the age of eight. This cultural stance has been so ingrained that asking for ketchup can lead to public ridicule or even refusal of service at some hot dog stands.
• Canada is home to the world's oldest known rock, the Acasta Gneiss, which is approximately 4.01 billion years old.

Small things 30 Aug

• Imagine if more people said, “I don’t know enough about that to properly form an opinion on it.”
• A good relationship is when she is by your side during bad times, to tell you that none of this would've happened if you had just listened to her.
• If you died choking on a gummy bear, I would just tell people you were killed by a bear and leave it at that.
• John Fluevog shoes’ new slogan: “Total sh** show.”
• If you're trying to impress me with your vehicle, it had better be a food truck.
• Old enough to do whatever I want. Too tired to do it.
• Corporations making record profits: “It’s inflation…”   Consumers: “I don’t think that word means what you think it means.”
• People on benefits aren't negatively affecting your life in the slightest. If your life sucks, it’s probably because of the rich. Blaming the people on benefits suits them just fine.

Telling a story

 

Fractions

 

Letter diet

Imagine you could only choose to eat food beginning with B, C or P. Which would you pick?

No you can’t cheat by listing things like BBQ chicken, BBQ beef, BBQ pork, BBQ chips…

B foods

Beef / Broccoli / Beets / Bread / Buns / Bananas / Bacon / Beans / Butter / Bagels / Brownie / Blueberry

C foods

Chicken / Cheese / Chocolate / Cake / Cheesecake / Cookies / Corn / Cereal / Cherries

Coffee / Carrots / Chips / Cream

P foods

Pork / Potatoes / Peaches / Pancakes / Pie / Pasta / Peppers / Pizza / Peanuts / Pineapple / Pickles

Shaun the dog

 

To do list

 

Things I learned lately 30 Aug

• They changed the alphabet song so that the ‘lmnop’ part is sung less compacted than before.
• The belief that you need to drink 6-8 glasses of water daily is based on a misunderstanding of basic physiology. While water is essential for life, the body loses about 1.5-2 liters of water daily through breathing, sweating, and urination, which needs to be replenished. However, this doesn't mean you need to drink 6-8 glasses of water specifically. The 1945 recommendation for 2.5 liters of daily water intake included water from food sources, which many people overlook. Most people naturally consume enough water through their regular diet and beverages like coffee or juice. The thirst mechanism is reliable in prompting you to drink when needed, though it may fade with age. Drinking more water than necessary doesn't offer health benefits, as excess water is simply excreted. Studies have shown no benefit in drinking extra water for kidney function, debunking the myth that more water helps flush out toxins or improves kidney health. Therefore, focus on drinking when you're thirsty, and stay hydrated in hot weather, but don't stress over hitting a specific water intake target. (Condensed from an article by Christopher Labos MD MSc)
• The last Montreal Canadiens player to record 80 points in a season was Alex Kovalev in the 2007/2008 season.

Small things 23 Aug

• Should a pro-gun candidate be allowed to surround themself with bullet-proof glass while giving a speech at their rally? Asking for a friend.
• An enigma I struggle to understand is that there are major conservative policies that are generally unpopular. Better gun control is popular. The woman's right to choose is popular. LGBTQ+ rights are popular. A $20 minimum wage is popular. UBI is popular. Proportional representation is popular. These are all liberal (left) policies. Conservatives generally want the opposite of those things. Yet the conservatives are still popular.
• I think it’s time that all women should automatically get to carry their own last name when they get married. Or at least have the choice to. It is the same right men have.
• There was a time when if someone said “You can get really great sound from a 2-way speaker (tweeter and woofer only, no midrange driver), people would have labeled them heretics.
• All the bathrooms in our house are gender-neutral. I brag about that to all the conservatives I know.
• "The less talent they have, the more pride, vanity and arrogance they have. All these fools, however, find other fools who applaud them."  ~Erasmus, 1509
• The Internet generation is so selfish. It’s always meme meme meme.

All the NHL players from North America

 Showing all their birthpaces.

Best ticket ever

 

All the lyrics but alphabetized episode 3

Can you guess the song?

a air and at baking beach bikini bikinis boy’s broke bubble butter by catfish chased clam clapping comes deep dock dogfish dolphins down ear everybody everybody’s fans fell fire fish flew flexing flippers flipping for frugging fun giant girls goes grabbed had having he here his horses hose in it jam jelly let’s lifeguard lobe lobster lots manta-ray matching mermaids mermen motion muscles narwhale noseguard ocean of on out party pass piranha potatoes put reached red robin rock rocking round sailing saw sea shells snappers snapping somebody someone stingray sun surfboards tanning that the there they to towels trouble twisting under underneath wailing walked was wasn’t watch waves waving we went were whale your

A guide for new fathers

 

Rear door ashtray

 That my friends, is an example of the smoking in the car culture that prevailed in the 1970s. The rear door arm rest ashtray, lighter optional.

Things I learned lately 23 Aug

Red Velvet Cake is essentially a vanilla cake with a hint of cocoa powder, which gives it a mild chocolate flavor. The cake is known for its fine, smooth, and soft crumb. The addition of vinegar and buttermilk gives the cake a slight tanginess, which complements the sweet and tangy cream cheese frosting typically used. 

The signature red color of the cake originally came from a chemical reaction between non-Dutch processed cocoa and acidic ingredients like vinegar and buttermilk. However, modern recipes often use red food coloring to achieve the vibrant hue. Alternatives to artificial coloring include natural dyes such as beet juice or pomegranate powder, although these can alter the cake's flavor slightly. Red velvet cake has its roots in the Victorian era, where "velvet" cakes were known for their soft texture. 

The red color was not initially as pronounced as it is today. The cake gained popularity in the United States in the early 20th century, with the Waldorf Astoria Hotel in New York City playing a significant role in its rise to fame. During World War II, when ingredients like cocoa were rationed, bakers used beet juice to maintain the cake's color and moisture. The modern version of red velvet cake, with its bright red color, became popular due to the efforts of the Adams Extract Company, which marketed a recipe using red food dye.

I have to stretch for this

 

Small things 16 Aug

• I wonder which does more for kids: Posting the 10 commandments in classrooms or giving kids free breakfast and lunch.
• Fresh black goth corn. Better known as: corn on the macabre
• Everything happens for a reason. Sometimes that reason is you’re making bad life choices.
• Just remember, free speech works both ways. If you are free to say something awful, people are also free to call you out for saying something awful.
• Does Baby Yoda imply the existence of a Sporty Yoda, a Posh Yoda, a Ginger Yoda and a Scary Yoda?
• Great insult: If laziness were an Olympic sport, you’d purposely come in 4th so you wouldn’t have to walk to the podium.
• Contrary to movie portrayals, military members don’t pull the grenade pin with their teeth.
• “Mom, did you want a boy or a girl?”  “I just wanted a back rub.”
• I bought a book on how to scam people. I still haven’t received it after 3 months.
• So far, this is the oldest I’ve ever been.
• It’s sad when you go to the store to buy organic vegetables and come home with regular donuts.
• To all the people who said I’d never amount to anything: I’m only 63. Just you wait. 

All the lyrics but alphabetized episode 2

Can you guess the song?

A again all and as away band be began bell but charity come county crash day desert down drew else ever evermore every everywhere exploded falling fell first for forever found four fun get giving grudge had having heavy held here hope i if in inside into is it jailer judge like mama man mighty need never nice night no of on one out pint rabbits rain registered ringing run said sailor sam search searching second seeing sent settle sigh square stuck sun the there these they're thought to town undertaker us village walls was we well were who will with world you you're

A can't of Coke

 

Poetry

This stuff is being delivered to homes now

Apparently my streets are littered with the rotting corpses of the vaccinated.

Other "article" headlines included:

• "Excess deaths from disease increases 50% among young people"
• "Let the Fear-Mongering begin"
• "FREEDOM WINS!"
• "Why is Canada Burning"
• "Statins and Accelerated Aging"
• "Scientists Create Organic Slave Computer"
• "The Mainstream Worldview Is A Mass-Produced Artificial Psychosis"
• "Transhumanist Agenda"
• "Slaves in a Jar"
• "The Censorship Cartel"
• "The Rule of Law"
• "Three Sinister Reasons for the Push to Electric Vehicles"
• "Trudeau Considers Additional Housing Tax"
• "Truth, Reality, Housing, and Freedom"
• "The Twisted Road of Inclusion"
• "Seizures of Opiods Exploded by 3000% in Ontario City After "Safer Supply" Experiment"

There are also lists of "websites of interest"

This is how right wing conspiracy theorists are going to bypass social media rules about disinformation.

What now?

 

The classic reimagined for 2024

 

Things I learned lately 16 Aug

• A brown guy dressed in a suit similar to what Vivek Ramaswami typically wears and went to the Trump rally in Montana. So many people wanted their picture taken with him, including rally attendees, the governor, and Miss Montana. He tried to get on stage, but the secret service stopped him only because he didn’t have any press credentials.
• Up to 20% of Olympic athletes suffer from asthma. In many cases the asthma is a direct result of the strenuous breathing required of their sport.
• Google’s global market share on search is 91%.
• Microsoft once offered Apple 100% of its Bing search ad revenue if Apple would dislodge Google as its default search engine. Apple said no.
• Tesla builds a new car every 13 seconds.
• UCP MLA Eric Bouchard wants the government to ban COVID vaccines in Alberta.
• Sudbury ON, the largest city in "Northern Ontario" is actually closer to Jacksonville FL, than it is to the Arctic Circle. Sudbury is about 1,800km from Jacksonville, and 2,200km from the Arctic Circle.
• In the United States, the term "the shore" is most commonly used in the Mid-Atlantic region, particularly in New Jersey. People from New Jersey often say they are "going to the shore" when they refer to visiting oceanfront areas, especially the “Jersey Shore”. This usage is distinct from other regions, such as Delaware, where people typically refer to "the beach" instead.

Goth clowns?

 

I truly read this as goth clowns only...