What a beach!

Anyone who lives or has been to Southern California - Darlene and I are going in June and want to know your fave beach there. We're thinking of visiting Laguna beach, Newport beach, Morro Bay and maybe a few others. We've already been to Malibu.

You don't snooze - you lose!

So, I'm guessin' that Jamie Foxx must have not gotten to bed last night - 'cause his grandmother was visiting with me in my dreams (you had to catch his Oscar acceptance speech to get that one).

I'd like to thank dog....I mean God!!

I guess the people who run the Academy Awards try to make things more interesting when there's talk about people losing interest in award shows. First, they got Chris Rock to host - gutsy. Then I notice that they're giving out awards all over the theatre. At one point, I thought they were gonna throw the statue from the balcony with the presenter to the balcony where the nominees were.

Here's to Jamie Foxx - the one person I really wanted to win....

What's up doc?

From what I can tell, there's a real doctor crisis in our country. There are nowhere near enough family doctors to go around - most people I know don't have one or are on a waiting list to get one. This is one of the reasons why leaving my last doctor was such a hard decision.

The federal goverment says it doesn't understand what the problem is - there are plenty of graduates coming out of medical schools. Yet rural places like Geraldton Ontario are about to lose most, if not all their doctors - despite offering salaries up to $400,000 a year with eight months of vacation. The government's solution in one case is to stop allowing doctors to set up practise in big cities until the rural vacancies are filled. In Montreal for example, it's estimated that some 300,000 people are looking for a doctor - which would justify 342 new physicians. But the government would only allow 5 new doctors to set up practise.

Meanwhile, we have immigrating health professionals entering our country, driving cabs for a living - because our laws won't recognize their qualifications and force them to go back to school before they can be certified.

I think it's time to pressure our political representatives to do something about this.

(Stab! stab! stab!)

This Voodoo knife rack is destined to shock a few people, eh? I think it's neat. Does that make me a bad person?

(OK - I'll stop whining now...)

How disgusting...

This is a cool pen design. I predict someone will object to this design because it looks too much like....well, you know what it looks like. I'll just let you use your imaginations here.

Have we lost our sense of humour?

Animal rights activists are pressuring Kraft to pull a new candy that's shaped like critters run over by cars — complete with tire treads, because it fosters cruelty toward animals. Trolli Road Kill Gummi Candy comes— in shapes of partly flattened snakes, chickens and squirrels.

Come on people! Get a sense of humour will ya? Using this logic, people who eat Goldfish crackers will turn into Ozzy Ozbourne.....

(you know - "until you bite their heads off...")

Enough already!

I was diagnosed with high cholesterol a while back and was prescribed with medication to lower it. Not long after, I was diagnosed with an underproducing thyroid and was prescribed with medication to raise it. Now, I suffer from unexplained back pain. It turns out the back pain and the thyroid issue are potential side effects of the cholesterol medication. And the worst part is my doctor doesn't want to take me off the meds.

So in the words of Donald Trump - "you're fired!"

Will Uma guest star?

In what will likely be one of the coolest season enders in the history of television, Quentin Tarantino will write and direct this season's finale for CSI - which will air May 19.

Well blow me away!

I have an idea how to prompt people here to build more wind turbines. We just have to show that they can serve 2 functions. On the one hand, they can generate electricity from wind. On the other hand, if we build them close enough to the US border, they can serve as a kind of defense system. If there's any kind of nuclear accident or attack, we can turn the turbines into huge fans to blow the radioactive fallout back across the border...

What a Plesz-ant name, eh?

There are times I wished I had paid better attention to what my Opa (God rest his soul) said to me while he was alive. Like the story behind our name (Plesz). I could have sworn he mentioned something about royalty - Baron Von Plesz, and the evolution of the spelling of the name through the ages (Plac - Plas - Ples - Plesz). I don't remember much anymore. I know Plesz isn't a very common name - at least not in Canada, and most of them are in Montreal. But in Ohio, there's a shitload of them.

Oh! I can't look!

The Parent's Television Council has a website warning against TV not safe for kids - where they offer clips of the most objectionable episodes of television. So - if they're so objectionable, why are they showing them on their web site?

I'll take spam for $200 Alex....

Are you getting lured into signing up for SMS[dot]ac? Many of my friends are. I know because I'm getting lots of email asking me to add my contact info - which of course you can only do if you sign up. By the way, if you sign up for this service, watch your cell phone bills.

Wanna know what I think of SMS[dot]ac? It's spammeriffic!

Sensory overload

In another story of brain weirdness (in a neat way), here's the story of Ingrid, who not only sees colour, but can hear, taste and smell it too. yet another clue that our brain potential is yet untapped.

Windows BSE

I've heard a rumour (that's all it is at this point) that the next version of Windows to hit store shelves in the future (code named Longhorn) will be called Windows e-XPedition.

OK, if that's even true - I think they're making a big mistake. What will we call it when our natural tendency to abbreviate the name kicks in? For instance, we refer to previous versions as "95", "98", "NT", "me", "w2k" and "XP".

What would we call e-XPedition? "E"? Why don't we just call it what everyone's been calling it - Longhorn?

Cleanup in aisle 4....

Oh what a wonderful shopping experience it would be if the grocery store aisles were as wide as pictured above. Maybe it's me but the aisles are getting narrower and the ends of the aisles are getting clogged with cardboard floor displays so unstable that a mere wayward breath is enough to topple it, sending a ton of stuff spilling onto the floor and causing a scene.

It never fails - I'll be rounding a corner like the good defensive driver that I am and some spoiled priviledged kid on a cheap sugar rush from the candy they've stolen sampled from the bulk bins comes careening into me, forcing me to deke to one side - right into a cardboard floor display. Almost as bad is when some ignorant well-meaning shopper decides to park their cart in such a way that nobody can get past.

Speaking of grocery shopping - is it so wrong of me to want to carry my own bags of stuff?

Ashes to ashes...

Across our country, provinces or cities are enacting smoking bans in bars and restaurants - among other places. Now I understand why people might be upset - I used to smoke and I never quite understood what everyone's problem was during that time. Although, I never did feel right about smoking while people ate and avoiding doing so. But now that the smoking ban wave is sweeping across the land, smokers and bar owners are complaining loudly and some are outright saying "if you don't like the smoke - stay home".

What I don't think they understand is - we are! We are staying home in droves. And as more and more people choose not to smoke anymore, we are seeing bar patronage decline. I hope owners begin to realize that if smoking bans are put in place, non-smokers will begin to return to the bars and clubs, which would make them much more money than they do now. Alberta doesn't have such a ban and our bars and clubs have become unbearable to non-smokers. Ontario has a ban and while I was in Kingston last year, I wandered into a nice pub and what a relief! It was so nice to sit and have a beverage without choking or getting smoke embedded into my clothes.

A new barometer for predicting nice weather?

Ahhhh spring must be in the air. At least - that's the impression I get after seeing a homeless guy start to disrobe and change his clothes, seated at a downtown park bench. True, it was only around 0C outside, but the sun is getting higher in the sky and must feel warm on his skin. Soon the prostitutes will be back out in their halter tops and micro-minis....

Surfaholics anonymous

Look how far our relationship with the Internet has come. I remember when I connected to the Internet for the first time back in 1994 - it was just a curiosity for me. Now I'm addicted to the blasted thing, for news, weather, solutions to problems on anything, recipes (for Darlene - I swear!) and of course - blogging. But what do you do when your Internet connection goes down or you don't have access to the Net wherever you are?

If you're like me, your nerves get frazzled any time you hear a phone ringing and nobody's bothering to answer the damned thing. Well for me, it's the same thing with the Net. I've actually been on vacation and gotten a bad 'net surfing jones'. One time I saw one of those pay-as-you-go Net terminals at a hotel and I couldn't help myself but to cozy on up to it and check my friggin e-mail! The only thing that stops me from bringing my laptop with wireless networking along on all road trips is my bizarre fear of losing it (either physical theft or at customs). And I'm pretty sure that fear will someday be trumped by my unwillingness to be without by beloved Internet for more than a couple days in a row. I'm hooked! I'm a junkie! It's only going to get worse....

I'm lovin it!

Someone has a Ronald fetish. I wonder if her attraction has anything to do with the size of his feet?

Dad, make those funny noises like old times...

I know a few people who have children under one year old. I have heard them recount how they act up for the amusement of their children.

Which got me thinking - it's a good thing children of that age have not yet developed long-term memory.....

Here's some biting sarcasm for ya...

I just love "do-it-yourself" sign web sites.....

Hardly about workin....

Maybe in light of all the things that have happened in the world of blogging, we all need to put a disclaimer on our blogs:

Disclaimer: the following links are for entertainment purposes only. They do not reflect my work ethics nor my personal views of my own employers. Please note, I am a hard worker and respect authority and would never use work time for my own personal enjoyment. It should be noted that I am fortunate enough to have the best employer!

Stolen from Bacon and Eh's

Ooops!

George Michael just announced he is retiring from the pop music scene..............uh, you mean nobody told him we retired him already?

Where's the blue screen of death

Check out this building decorated in the theme of the Windows operating system.

Don't panic!

I just saw the first trailer (not sneak peek) for The Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy movie coming out this spring.

Excuse me, but I have to go now so I can get in line at the local movieplex....

Learn l33t sp34k from the pros....

I'm sorry, but can there be anything more bizarre than Microsoft offering to explain computer slang to parents? Would you actual think of going to Microsoft for such advice? Wouldn't that be kinda like asking the old guy who welcomes people at WalMart if the new Unkle Kracker album is out yet?

"w00t" : A common interjection, analogous to "woohoo!"

Cool art

Check out the awesome snow sculptures!

RRSP - Registered Retirement Sex Plan

Are you one of the millions of people who really have no concrete plan for retirement income? Well, someone has a blog to discuss just this subject. It's from an American perspective, but I'm sure some of the discussions apply everywhere.

I have no retirement savings to speak of. Once I reach retirement age, I plan to supplement my income by wearing provocative clothes and strolling around retirement homes trying to sell my body. Hey - men tend to die at a much younger age than women, so I should have pretty good odds of attracting a sizeable group of willing patrons. I know what you're thinking....Darlene should be OK with the idea - I'd be using some of the earned hoard to buy her chocolate, which by then should cost about $20 a bar.

But is it art?

The Gates by Christo in Central Park, NYC.

You may call this art. I don't know much about art. But I do know 7,500 orange shower curtains when I see them.

Thanks to E!

I'll take them all

If you've never seen the posters being sold at despair.com, you need to get over there and check these gems out. This one is one of my favourites. The caption reads:

Sometimes the best solution to morale problems is just to fire all the unhappy people...

I feel like I'm taking crazy pills...

I know it's silly, but am I the only one who still thinks Zoolander is a funny movie?

Gag me

Have you ever been tricked into eating something you know you never would have tried if you really knew what it was?

When I was young, my dad told me to try something tasty. I asked what it was and his answer was, "just try it - you'll love it". I did try it and I did like it. Afterward, I found out it was pickled pork tongue.

Holy amazons!

Internet urban legends are fun even if they're fake - and photos just add to the fun. Such as this one claiming the woman is the tallest in the world at 7'4". Ummm...wrong!

Anyone got strips of freshly killed goat's hide?

A valentine video from ZeFrank.

Autistic may hold clue to our brain's potential

Daniel Tammet not only performs math at unbelievable speed, he describes how he does it.

Ever since the age of three, when he suffered an epileptic fit, Tammet has been obsessed with counting. Now 26 and a mathematical genius who can figure out cube roots quicker than a calculator and recall pi to 22,514 decimal places. He is autistic, which is why he can't drive a car, wire a plug, or tell right from left. Tammet is calculating 377 multiplied by 795, but there is nothing conscious about what he is doing. He arrives at the answer instantly. He is able to see numbers as shapes, colours and textures. The number two, for instance, is a motion, and five is a clap of thunder. "When I multiply numbers together, I see two shapes. The image starts to change and evolve, and a third shape emerges - the answer. It's mental imagery. It's like math without having to think."

A number of scientists now hope that Tammet might help us to understand savants better. Professor Allan Snyder, from the Centre for the Mind at the Australian National University in Canberra, explains. "Savants can't usually tell us how they do what they do, it just comes to them. Daniel describes what he sees in his head. That's why he's exciting. He could be the Rosetta Stone."

Hello Kitty crop circle

See........even aliens love Hello Kitty!

Baby it's alright

So Darlene and I just finished watching the movie "Ray".

Y'all may as well just give the Oscar to Jamie Foxx now and get it over with....

What a bargain!

Well, I finally found my ultimate dream house in Calgary. Now I just have to get the $1.5 million to buy it. Shouldn't be long now....